Why I’m feeling old and slow

I don’t think it’s an over-generalization to say there are two basic kinds of people in America. No, not Republicans and Democrats. No, not Coke vs. Pepsi drinkers. And, no, not people who like to vacation at the beach and people who like to vacation in the mountains, the latter also known as wrong people. Americans can be divided into two main groups — folks whose favorite TV game show is “Jeopardy” and folks who prefer extremely slow shows like […]

Jimmy Buffett with limited tailgating? No thank you

It’s lunchtime. Thursday. April 25. And that means I should be sitting on the tailgate of my truck in Parking Lot A at Ameris Bank Amphitheatre in Alpharetta, Georgia, pouring my first margarita, eating a cheeseburger and getting my tailgate on for tonight’s Jimmy Buffett concert. But I’m not. Oh, I bought tickets. I hit reload 700 times back in January to finally land two lawn tickets. Then I booked a hotel room for tonight. It was going to be […]

Let me help you understand the world of cable “news”

Reporting the news is complicated business. If you just report the facts, you might fall into the trap of being accurate but boring. If you infuse your reporting with a little humor and creative flair, you might be editorializing. And no matter what you do, they’ll hate you for it. About the only benefit you get from reporting the news is high blood pressure and the intrinsic rewards of knowing that what you’re doing is a crucial element of our […]

Bigots are back — with the governor on their side

(Update: Thankfully, this bill died once again before coming up for a full vote. This allows the GOP to run on the issue again and again while still scaring evangelicals that everyone is coming for their rights. They get the best of both worlds — fear-mongering and avoiding the issue about which they fear-monger.) It seems Georgia’s right-wing is as obsessed with gay people as Fox News is with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They’re always on their mind, as the song goes. […]

I ain’t no strangled conformist

More than once I’ve voiced my opposition to ties. They serve no purpose other than lightly strangling conformists — or severely strangling them in the case of folks like CBS Sports broadcaster Verne Lundquist (pictured above), who had to retire from calling SEC football games and the NCAA Tournament due to a lack of oxygen getting to his brain. Next week’s column mentions my war against the tie. It’s a war I feel like I’m winning until somebody dies and […]

Virginia’s governor is a liar — this is how I know

It’s pretty clear that Virginia  Gov. Ralph Northam is lying about the racist photo that appeared in his medical school yearbook. How do I know? In denying that he was pictured in the photo of a person in blackface and a person in a KKK costume — a day after apologizing for being in it — he said, and I quote: “I believe that I am not either of the people in that photo.” Look, I can’t remember everything I […]

Dodging snowflakes with Jimmy Buffett

One of the great things about a Jimmy Buffett concert is the way folks from all kinds of different backgrounds and persuasions come together as one wonderfully weird and colorful — if somewhat inebriated — flock (or “phlock for us Parrotheads). Most of that experience happens in the afternoon of tailgating before the show, which is more of a show than the show itself. Friends and strangers share food and drinks, high-five, dance together, splash around in inflatable pools, throw […]

Sometimes, resolutions are for the Dawgs

Every year, I make a few New Year’s resolutions. I don’t usually make them public because the last thing I need in my life is someone holding me accountable to what I say or write. It’d be like if President Trump said something like, “We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall, and Mexico is gonna pay for it,” and his supporters actually held him to it. No, I can’t handle accountability any more than he can. Unfortunately, I can’t blame […]