Bigots are back — with the governor on their side

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(Update: Thankfully, this bill died once again before coming up for a full vote. This allows the GOP to run on the issue again and again while still scaring evangelicals that everyone is coming for their rights. They get the best of both worlds — fear-mongering and avoiding the issue about which they fear-monger.) It seems Georgia’s right-wing is as obsessed with gay people as Fox News is with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They’re always on their mind, as the song goes. […]

I ain’t no strangled conformist

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More than once I’ve voiced my opposition to ties. They serve no purpose other than lightly strangling conformists — or severely strangling them in the case of folks like CBS Sports broadcaster Verne Lundquist (pictured above), who had to retire from calling SEC football games and the NCAA Tournament due to a lack of oxygen getting to his brain. Next week’s column mentions my war against the tie. It’s a war I feel like I’m winning until somebody dies and […]

Virginia’s governor is a liar — this is how I know

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It’s pretty clear that Virginia  Gov. Ralph Northam is lying about the racist photo that appeared in his medical school yearbook. How do I know? In denying that he was pictured in the photo of a person in blackface and a person in a KKK costume — a day after apologizing for being in it — he said, and I quote: “I believe that I am not either of the people in that photo.” Look, I can’t remember everything I […]

Dodging snowflakes with Jimmy Buffett

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One of the great things about a Jimmy Buffett concert is the way folks from all kinds of different backgrounds and persuasions come together as one wonderfully weird and colorful — if somewhat inebriated — flock (or “phlock for us Parrotheads). Most of that experience happens in the afternoon of tailgating before the show, which is more of a show than the show itself. Friends and strangers share food and drinks, high-five, dance together, splash around in inflatable pools, throw […]

Sometimes, resolutions are for the Dawgs

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Every year, I make a few New Year’s resolutions. I don’t usually make them public because the last thing I need in my life is someone holding me accountable to what I say or write. It’d be like if President Trump said something like, “We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall, and Mexico is gonna pay for it,” and his supporters actually held him to it. No, I can’t handle accountability any more than he can. Unfortunately, I can’t blame […]

Debriefing Santa Claus

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Today we celebrate Christmas Day — or Jimmy Buffett’s birthday if you’re more into being a Parrothead than into religion. Better yet, throw on a tropical shirt, put on that “A1A” album and open some presents. After all, the jolly old elf Santa Claus put a lot of work into circumnavigating the Earth last night in search of good little boys and girls to leave presents under the tree. Unfortunately, Santa is an unusually foul mood today. I caught up […]

2019: The year in preview

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As we say goodbye to 2018 — also adios, farewell, and go crawl back under whatever horrible rock you came from to 2018 — we can rest assured that 2019 can’t possibly be as irritating, mainly because there are no midterm elections. And in Georgia there is no gubernatorial election, which means the next time Brian Kemp points a gun at a teenager, he could get arrested for it. It has become an annual tradition for, literally, dozens of people […]

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you …

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At the end of every episode of “Barney and Friends,” a giant purple slightly-too-happy tyrannosaurus rex led the show’s young stars in singing the “I Love You” song: I love you/You love me/We’re a happy family/With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you/Won’t you say you love me too? Children happily sang along because Barney would eat children who did not cooperate — a scene more brutal than any in “Jurassic Park” because Barney had no […]