• Month: April 2020

    Welcome to Georgia’s pandemic radio station!

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    Welcome to Georgia’s pandemic radio station!

    Welcome to Virus Radio, playing Georgia’s pandemic hits 24 hours a day! Heck, this is Georgia, baby, and we don’t do no stinkin’ numbers and facts, so, starting tomorrow, we are gonna broadcast 25 hours a day, eight days a week. This is DJ CJ with your Morning Drive for all you essential workers out there heading to your essential jobs — the health care workers, first responders, food prep folks, hair stylists, tattoo artists, massage therapists, nail technicians and, of course, our essential gun shop personnel in case we need to buy a gun to shoot anyone we see […]

    Hey (hey) you (you), get off of my White Cloud!

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    Hey (hey) you (you), get off of my White Cloud!

    Tomorrow could be a momentous day at the Johnson household. That’s the day my online order of toilet paper is supposed to arrive. Supposed to. As President Trump says — about everything — “We’ll see.” When this pandemic first hit the United States, toilet paper began flying off shelves. But, I thought, surely this won’t last. After all, I can’t imagine that the bathroom-going habits of Americans have changed all that much. Or have they? “Well, Gladys, I got furloughed for the month of April. If you need me, I’ll be in here pooping until May. Thank goodness we bought […]

    Be a better you when this is over

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    Be a better you when this is over

    (Photo: I snapped this shot of a guy contemplating the sunset on giant rocks that jutted out into the Pacific Ocean in the little fishing village of Las Peñitas, Nicaragua, during my first trip there to help build homes for families in need with The Fuller Center for Housing. This look of contemplation against the backdrop of the sunset seems to fit this column.) With all of the things that could go wrong during a pandemic, I guess I’m pretty unscathed by the coronavirus outbreak. I got sick … with something. Who knows what I was sick with because the […]

    Kemp sows dangerous confusion with ambiguous loopholes

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    Kemp sows dangerous confusion with ambiguous loopholes

    (Photo: Gov. Kemp and I agree that access to tequila is “essential” — though I don’t think either of us has a truly legitimate argument.) It seems there is still a lot of confusion surrounding Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp’s order issued last week. Plenty of establishments are still open, including the liquor store closest to my house. Just today I saw a car dealership open and a man delivering pine straw. I can’t imagine why people are confused. After all, I’ve got the text of the order right here in front of me and it clearly states in no uncertain […]