Month: July 2020

Baby come back — you can blame it all on me

Baby come back — you can blame it all on me

On May 30, 2015, I broke up with you, Atlanta Braves. I’d loved you unconditionally, in sickness and in health (some loooong years of sickness, by the way) my entire life, and some of my earliest memories were from that ugly bowl called Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium. I supported you when others sported bumper stickers that read, “Go Braves, and take the Falcons with you!” But after Ted Turner gave you away to some corporate folks who can’t find the state of Georgia on a map, things went downhill. You got cheap on me. Worse, you decided the perfectly good house […]

Harold and Kumar would hate Flippy

Harold and Kumar would hate Flippy

I have a confession to make. I have never eaten at a White Castle restaurant, ordered takeout from a White Castle restaurant or even picked up one of those boxes of White Castle burgers in the frozen foods section of the grocery store. As y’all know, it’s Krystal country down here. I’ve seen a few White Castles in my travels but never stopped. Because I’ve never had a White Castle burger, I can only assume by the way they look that they are almost exactly like a Krystal burger. I’m sure some tiny burger aficionado is hyperventilating and ready to […]

Why the $10 bill now gives me anxiety

Why the $10 bill now gives me anxiety

Musicals have never been my thing. I know that’s surprising for those of you who look at me and think, “Well, if that ain’t a walkin’ talkin’ ball of culture right there, I don’t know what is.” Perhaps it’s the flashbacks I have to my days at Possum Holler High when our drama class staged “My Fair Lady” — but not the one based on George Bernard Shaw’s “Pygmalion.” No, our creative drama teacher Lynn-Ellen Miranda wrote her own version based upon that time the Dog-Faced Boy ran off with Snake Girl — well, slithered off — at the 1977 […]

Wondering how I’m able to manage this coiffure in a pandemic, are you?

Wondering how I’m able to manage this coiffure in a pandemic, are you?

(Photo: Don’t tell Floyd, but I haven’t had my hair cut by a pro in years.) Something many folks have missed during these days of avoiding coronavirus like the plague — which it is — is regular haircuts. A few brave folks, of course, have charged courageously into the salon because as Billy Crystal used to point out on Fernando’s Hideaway on “Saturday Night Live:” It’s better to look good than to feel good.” Don’t I know it. Some of you, though, have played it a little safer. You’re the guys looking like Shaggy from “Scooby-Doo,” and the women looking […]