• Month: August 2020

    This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

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    This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

    I can’t wait until Dwayne Johnson — a.k.a. The Rock — someday returns to pro wrestling and then grabs the microphone to scream, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!” so that I can jump out of my seat and reply, “No! Not really!” Then again, I haven’t been a wrestling fan since I was about 8 years old watching folks like Mr. Wrestling No. 2, Tommy “Wildfire” Rich and Abdullah the Butcher stomping around Columbus’ old Municipal Auditorium. And I only saw those matches on TV, never in person. But my point remains the same — I can’t […]

    Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

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    Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

    I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that third bat at dinner last night. But, hey, it’s a constitutional right for a man to fill his belly with potentially pandemic-spreading flying rodents. In case you haven’t been on Facebook or Twitter in a while, you may not be aware that everything is a right in today’s America and we have the freedom to do anything. Yep, I got it. As they say in these here parts, “Chris done up and got The Rona.” I was careful, but I’m surrounded by people expressing their “rights” and “freedoms” all up and down aisle […]

    Let’s trim the calendar to just three seasons

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    Let’s trim the calendar to just three seasons

    I was never a big fan of school, so my entire school year was a 180-day countdown to summer. Sure, I liked Thanksgiving break, Christmas holidays and the 1-inch-of-snow shutdown, but summer meant no school for more than two months. That’s an eternity to a kid. When I was a kid, I absolutely loved summer. It didn’t hurt that my next-door-neighbors had a pool in which I was welcome to jump anytime I wanted — which was just about every day of summer. I rode my bike all around Oglethorpe, Georgia. I spent hours playing in Town Creek, which in […]

    How gullible are you? Take the test and find out

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    How gullible are you? Take the test and find out

    I know you’ve gotten those robocalls about your car’s extended warranty. If you’re like me, you get about one per week. I wouldn’t answer them, but I often get work-related phone calls from numbers I don’t recognize. Then there are those calls informing you that you are about to be arrested over some Social Security scam or something. I really haven’t had time to sit through these calls to find out exactly what they’re about to arrest me for, so I just scream into the phone, “Come and get me, coppers!” There have been many such versions of these phony […]