• Month: September 2021

    Sometimes those side effects are real

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    Sometimes those side effects are real

    I’m finally old enough to get the vaccine. Woo-hoo! The shingles vaccine, that is. I’d put it off for a while because I done researched them interwebs myself and found a conservative witch doctor in Nambia who was silenced by social media when he explained that the shingles vaccine Shingrix has only been around since 2017 and is nothing but a money-making hoax that has killed millions, and that shingles can be cured with a mix of Elmer’s glue, Pace chunky salsa and Quaker State that you apply with a badminton racket while lying in a tanning booth (on high/George […]

    Are there really only two kinds of people?

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    Are there really only two kinds of people?

    Don’t you just hate it when folks speak in absolute terms? I know I always hate it and will never understand. Folks like to say things such as “It always rains when I plan to do something outside.” Really? Always? I know better than that because clouds always dodge my yard when it needs water, and my grass never gets enough rain. Another absolutism that always gets me is how folks like to make a point starting with, “There are two kinds of people …” I’m fairly certain there are more than two kinds of people. Heck, I can think […]

    Desperately needed words of wisdom, Southern-style

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    Desperately needed words of wisdom, Southern-style

    Ever since humans began speaking a couple million years ago — a time anthropologists officially refer to as way back when — man has been sharing words of wisdom, maxims, proverbs, adages, axioms and … Dang it! This online thesaurus site done crashed on me again! Anyway, what I was trying to imply, suggest, intimate, and connote is that ever since the first words of wisdom were spoken by that legendary caveman, uh, make that caveperson Ugh Bugga Jr. — “fire hot” — maxims just keep coming until there are so many that we begin to forget some very valuable […]

    When life hands you lemons, ask for limes and mix a serenity potion

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    When life hands you lemons, ask for limes and mix a serenity potion

    If you own a television, a smart phone, a computer, an iPad or have a relationship with anyone named Alexa or Siri, you may have noticed that the world is pretty much going to hell. I mean that in a figurative way, of course, as the world can longer afford to go to hell, what with gas prices and all. You can’t literally go to hell, although it has literally been hot as hell all summer — though hell is more of a dry heat. We’ve got wildfires in California and Greece, hurricanes that blow up overnight and have a […]