Month: May 2022

Merle Haggard ain’t gonna like my answer to his 40-year-old question

Merle Haggard ain’t gonna like my answer to his 40-year-old question

My favorite country music artist of all time is the late Merle Haggard. Yeah, Willie and Waylon are high on my list, but Merle’s life was a country song personified, and he produced some simple, yet memorable music. I’m thankful that I had the pleasure of seeing him perform — at the old Silver Moon in Buena Vista, Georgia, back in 1994. He looked a hundred years old then. He was 57. Life had taken a toll. After a rough and rowdy youth, Merle turned his life around and became a huge star, but he seemed destined for the dust […]

In 2033, I land an exclusive interview with our favorite expatriated American

In 2033, I land an exclusive interview with our favorite expatriated American

When you’re a part-time newspaper columnist like me, one of the advantages is the untold riches those 25 minutes of weekly work brings and the capacity to buy anything you want. I bought a time machine. Sure, I could go back in time and kill baby Hitler or go forward to get next week’s lottery numbers, but, again, I am already filthy rich — not rich enough to buy (or maybe not) Twitter but enough to buy (or maybe not) Parler. I’d let you borrow my time machine, but it’s a stick shift, and the air-conditioner doesn’t work. (Again, just […]

Guys look at parties — and shark tootery — a little differently

Guys look at parties — and shark tootery — a little differently

Photo: My wife’s actual shark tootery tray Friday night At the risk of doing the kind of stereotyping for which the hypersensitive idiots running Facebook might ban me, I’ve noticed that guys and gals do many things differently. No, not every guy and not every girl and not every they or former guy/girl, but in general there is often a divide between the “guy way” and the “gal way.” (I apologize in advance for the above offense and the offenses that are to follow. It was completely by accident, and I will seek counseling. If you’re not offended by anything […]

Restaurant apps are a thing now, but no so much back home

Restaurant apps are a thing now, but no so much back home

When I was a kid, going to a restaurant was a very big deal. Of course, I grew up in a small town where folks actually cooked on a regular basis and there weren’t a dozen restaurants on every street. In fact, I doubt there were a dozen restaurants in the whole county when I was a kid. Not that it was a bad thing. We sat down for dinner with no waiting for a table, no loud folks at the next table and no music or TVs blaring. That gave my parents a chance to ask things like how […]