Month: April 2023

How you can use the Facebook settlement to send a message

How you can use the Facebook settlement to send a message

By now, you’ve probably heard that Facebook has settled its case involving the sharing of its users’ data with Cambridge Analytica, whose clients included the 2016 presidential campaigns of both Donald Trump and Ted Cruz. Those campaigns allegedly used the harvested data from Facebook to build pyschographic profiles of those whom they could target with their social media advertising. A lot of that information came to light during the “Russia Russia Russia hoax” that Trump likes to also call a “witch hunt” — a “witch hunt” that found a whole bunch of witches, just not Trump. Now, I never believed […]

AI does have some exciting possibilities; just ask Yul Brynner and Dianne Feinstein

AI does have some exciting possibilities; just ask Yul Brynner and Dianne Feinstein

A lot of folks — well, mainly Tucker Carlson and an almost lifelike, doughy robot named Elon Musk — are very worried about AI (Artificial Intelligence) taking over the world and destroying humanity … as if humans weren’t entirely capable of doing it themselves. Yes, they’re terrified of AI but think climate change — something that is verifiable and measurable — is a hoax and quite humorous. I’m not terrified of climate change or AI. Yes, I know climate change is real, but I’m teaching my grandchildren to swim so that they can handle sea level rise even after they […]

Too bad that racist trainer wasn’t at a loss for words; I sure am

Too bad that racist trainer wasn’t at a loss for words; I sure am

I have a confession to make: I’m white. Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you all the moves I learned from my “Learn to Breakdance” poster I had back in 1983. See, check this out: Watch me moonwalk. Check out this headspin. Now, the windmill! See, I told you. In fact, that last move wasn’t even a windmill — I was just dizzy from being way too heavy to do a headspin. Dadgum! I’m out of breath! Because I’m white, I can joke about white people in general. Jewish comedians […]

Am I banished from all the Wal-Marts or just the Americus one?

Am I banished from all the Wal-Marts or just the Americus one?

AMERICUS, Georgia — Just in case I show up on one of those “People of Wal-Mart” videos or something, allow me to explain myself. (I’ll be the guy not wearing pajamas, by the way.) My mom had her heart set on a little electric lawnmower that was available at a place called Wal-Mart. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Like most folks, I try to avoid that store as much as possible, but this little sucker was clearance-priced at $156. Even for an electric lawnmower that’s just a small step above toys like that kid’s mower that blows bubbles, that was […]

Radio Margaritaville confirms that, yes, I’m a Fruitcake

Radio Margaritaville confirms that, yes, I’m a Fruitcake

I have reached the pinnacle of existence for a slim-on-talent Parrot Head. I have become an official Fruitcake — as opposed to the unofficial fruitcake most folks have always believed me to be.  If you tune in to Radio Margaritaville on Thursday, April 6, at 10 a.m. EDT, you will hear me take it over for a bit as a “Fruitcake on the Radio.” You can hear the half-hour segment on SiriusXM Channel 24, Dish Network Music Channel 6031, or by clicking here for Radio Margaritaville’s free live stream. Radio Margaritaville averages more than 3 million weekly listeners. (The segment […]