We desperately need another choice

So, y’all are really telling me that my choice in this year’s presidential election comes down to a man who always appears tired and confused or a nutjob narcissist who is laser-focused on the urgent decision of whether it’d be better to die by shark bite or electrocution? 

Really?

When it comes down to shark bite vs. electrocution, I feel the same way I do about the election: I’m not satisfied with those options. There are 337 million people in the U.S., and I bet there’s at least one person — maybe even two — who would make better presidents.

And, yes, I know I could vote for the conspiracy theorist with the brainworm who’s married to Larry David’s wife from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” — RFK Jr., that is, not the worm — or some fringe candidate. But I’d rather be eaten by a electric shark than listen to RFK Jr. deliver a State of the Conspiracy address.

As an independent, I’m not too excited about either party.

The Democrats say, “Yeah, we also thought he was just for one term, but, well, get on board.” Of course, these are the Democrats who decided Chicago would be a good place to have their convention this year. That’s gone well in the past, and what better place to ignore raging crime than a place where you can ignore it up close and personal. Was Kabul not available?

Meanwhile, the Republicans have become spineless loyalists to a man they know is a raging lunatic who nearly got some of them killed when encouraging a coup because he doesn’t like the way math works.

Biden defenders point out that he loves his country while Trump loves himself — and a porn star here and there. Trump defenders point out that the economy was just fantabulous under Trump even though the successes for which he took credit were just continuations of trends from the Obama years. Then Trump left with the economy in shambles, just like the previous two GOP presidents who also inherited thriving economies and then on their way out the door handed the baton of bad economies to their Democratic successors to fix.

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But the pandemic wasn’t Trump’s fault! No, and the good economy he inherited and took credit for wasn’t his, either. If you’re gonna claim credit for the good stuff on your watch, rightly or wrongly, the bad stuff belongs to you, as well.

Meanwhile, under Biden’s watch, illegal immigration has worsened and inflation has been a problem. Granted, Trump has pressed Republicans in Washington to thwart any efforts to fix the border so that he can run on the problem. How patriotic! And the biggest factors in inflation are greedflation and unchecked capitalism run amok. Companies are making record profits because they know most consumers are fairly ignorant when it comes to economic drivers. I mean, they pin the high gas prices on Biden, saying he has a war on oil even as oil production in the U.S. has hit record levels under Biden.

Then there’s the issue of age. I think that’s an oversimplification. Young folks love Bernie Sanders, and he’s older than each of them. But Bernie is still sharp, whether you agree with his policy concerns or not. Neither Biden nor Trump seem sharp.

There’s supposed to be a debate on CNN in a couple of weeks. I’m still expecting that to fall through. I don’t know if Biden can stay up that late nor whether Trump can handle mics being turned off when he goes over time with his stable genius arguments like “I know you are but what am I?”

Quite frankly, I’d rather see Beavis debate Butthead than suffer through this predictable pair

But in this stupid system in which about four states get to decide are choices for president and in which the only thing the two parties agree upon is making sure that we only have two parties to choose from, these two guys are who we’re stuck with.

I’ll vote for one. I won’t vote for anyone who attacks my country’s democratic ideals, so that narrows it down a little. I don’t think my unenthusiastic vote will put that candidate over the top, though, no matter how many unsatisfied voters are told by the Democratic machine to “Get on board.” I’m voting, but I ain’t on board.

In the immortal words of Princess Leia, “Help us, Michelle Obama Kenobi, you’re our only hope.”

What do you think about this?