I’ll have a cup of Bacon without the Carly Rae Jepsen, please

I love the sport of baseball, even though I kinda gave up on the Braves after 40 years of loving them when they abandoned a perfectly good ballpark for a taxpayer fleecing in Cobb County. I tried to replace them with the Chicago Cubs, but it didn’t work. I like the Cubs. I just don’t love them. I grew up with about 13 channels, one of them TBS that showed the Braves all the time, and the other WGN that […]

I came for lunch, not a staring contest

I have many pet peeves when it comes to restaurants. I don’t like to eat in a place so dark that you have to use a flashlight to read the menu. I don’t like loud restaurants with bad music or acoustics that carry every conversation through the whole place. I loathe a restaurant telling me what sides come with an entree instead of letting me choose. And I especially hate paying more to get less. I have a theory that […]

Honey, I shrunk the town

A recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau estimates that a third of Georgia’s small towns — it considers “small” any community under 10,000 — lost population in the past year. I don’t really have a reason to question the report, although I don’t know exactly how the Bureau goes about its estimating business in such a matter. “Hey, Larry, does it seem to you that Roopville just ain’t the bustling place it once was?” “Indeed, Sally. I estimate they’ve […]

Why I’m feeling old and slow

I don’t think it’s an over-generalization to say there are two basic kinds of people in America. No, not Republicans and Democrats. No, not Coke vs. Pepsi drinkers. And, no, not people who like to vacation at the beach and people who like to vacation in the mountains, the latter also known as wrong people. Americans can be divided into two main groups — folks whose favorite TV game show is “Jeopardy” and folks who prefer extremely slow shows like […]

Jimmy Buffett with limited tailgating? No thank you

It’s lunchtime. Thursday. April 25. And that means I should be sitting on the tailgate of my truck in Parking Lot A at Ameris Bank Amphitheatre in Alpharetta, Georgia, pouring my first margarita, eating a cheeseburger and getting my tailgate on for tonight’s Jimmy Buffett concert. But I’m not. Oh, I bought tickets. I hit reload 700 times back in January to finally land two lawn tickets. Then I booked a hotel room for tonight. It was going to be […]

Let me help you understand the world of cable “news”

Reporting the news is complicated business. If you just report the facts, you might fall into the trap of being accurate but boring. If you infuse your reporting with a little humor and creative flair, you might be editorializing. And no matter what you do, they’ll hate you for it. About the only benefit you get from reporting the news is high blood pressure and the intrinsic rewards of knowing that what you’re doing is a crucial element of our […]

Bigots are back — with the governor on their side

(Update: Thankfully, this bill died once again before coming up for a full vote. This allows the GOP to run on the issue again and again while still scaring evangelicals that everyone is coming for their rights. They get the best of both worlds — fear-mongering and avoiding the issue about which they fear-monger.) It seems Georgia’s right-wing is as obsessed with gay people as Fox News is with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They’re always on their mind, as the song goes. […]

I ain’t no strangled conformist

More than once I’ve voiced my opposition to ties. They serve no purpose other than lightly strangling conformists — or severely strangling them in the case of folks like CBS Sports broadcaster Verne Lundquist (pictured above), who had to retire from calling SEC football games and the NCAA Tournament due to a lack of oxygen getting to his brain. Next week’s column mentions my war against the tie. It’s a war I feel like I’m winning until somebody dies and […]