Chris Johnson

Palm trees or pumpkins? Margaritas or spiced lattes? Roll with the flow

Palm trees or pumpkins? Margaritas or spiced lattes? Roll with the flow

Fall is in the air. Ah, yes. Can you smell it? Granted, I can’t smell things quite as well as I did before catching Covid last year. For instance, one the greatest aromas in the world is that of coffee brewing. At least I assume it still is. To me, it now smells a little like cat poop. But I’ve gotta have caffeine in the morning, so I’ll take my brewed cat poop with two Splendas, please. I understand that it’s not officially fall according to the calendar, but the whole calendar system is outdated. They say fall doesn’t officially […]

A little inspiration from the Sunshine State

A little inspiration from the Sunshine State

(Photo: Looking for a shot that makes you feel like this? I, and a friend of yours from Florida have great news!) If you broke down my friends list on Facebook, half of the folks are left of center, half are right of center, and the other third I’m not sure about. Now, all the folks on the left aren’t the same, nor are all the folks on the right. But a few things are consistent about each group. For instance, I’m fairly certain that every single unvaccinated friend I have is on the right, and vice-versa. And I’m pretty […]

Unvaccinated? Please stop reading immediately

Unvaccinated? Please stop reading immediately

If you have not been fully vaccinated against COVID-19 — and I mean with Moderna or Pfizer, not by Sister GiGi and her live chicken — I must ask you to stop reading now. This is a pro-science space today. Go out and about, spread the pandemic, unknowingly kill a few folks, and continue to stage the kind of environment that will allow the virus to further mutate, perhaps to a point where it might evade our vaccines and punish those who are doing the right thing. Remember, we can’t keep this pandemic going without you. Now, stop reading and […]

Dog days of summer call for water

Dog days of summer call for water

Not sure if any of you folks around here noticed, but last week was the hottest week of the year in these here parts. I mean, it wasn’t Canada hot where it has topped 115 degrees already this year or Arctic Circle in Siberia hot — also 115-plus degrees already this year — but it hit the upper 90s with 567 percent humidity. It wasn’t exactly a dry heat. As a kid, I learned there’s really only way to cope with hot summer days — water. In my hometown of Oglethorpe, Ga., we spent a lot of summer days playing […]

My checklist for selecting a great restaurant is growing

My checklist for selecting a great restaurant is growing

Photo: My wife checks out the decor at our favorite barbecue joint, Hungry Hillbilly’s, just outside of Jesup, Ga. I’ve written more than a few times about restaurants — the kind of food I like, the atmosphere I prefer and, especially, how to decide whether a restaurant at which you’ve never eaten will be worth trying. Quite frankly, after penning more than 2,000 newspaper columns over the years, I can’t be sure exactly which rules I’ve already covered, so I’ll go over my old rules fairly quickly: If you’re in some small town with which you’re unfamiliar and it’s lunchtime, […]

You can’t believe 1 percent of what 50 percent say

You can’t believe 1 percent of what 50 percent say

It has been said that there are three types of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics. Polling has found that 58 percent of people believe that quote is from Mark Twain. The other 57 percent believe it’s from British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli. Actually, Twain used the quote and attributed it to Disraeli, although there is no direct attribution that it came out that way from Disraeli. But, really, since the Internet was invented by Al Gore in an igloo, attribution has become pretty much irrelevant. We have folks in this country ready to shoot folks over completely made-up stuff […]

Forget Superman: I now present Uncle Rusty

Forget Superman: I now present Uncle Rusty

Comic books were a big deal when I was a kid in the 1970s and early 1980s. I don’t mean they were a big deal as far as collectibles go. They may have been. For me and my friends, however, every new issue of Spider-Man came with the excitement of a new season of “Ozark” dropping on Netflix or “The Handmaid’s Tale” on Hulu. Back then, we didn’t have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Fox, Cartoon Network or … OK, we had like six channels — and two of them came in clearly. We were desperate for entertainment. And the movie […]

Short-shorts are coming back

Short-shorts are coming back

Photo: The NBA’s Hawks. Note, this is not this year’s team. It’s the St. Louis Hawks of the 1950s. Just in case you were confused. A lot of important things happened in 1957. The Braves won the World Series … the Milwaukee Braves, that is. And the Hawks made the NBA Finals before losing to the Celtics … the St. Louis Hawks, that is, of course. And John Pulman won the World Snooker Championship in a hard-fought 39-34 victory over Jackie Rea. Something else happened in 1957 that had way more folks snickerin’ than snookerin’ — a band called The […]