Chris Johnson

Happy 96th birthday, Mr. Jimmy!

Happy 96th birthday, Mr. Jimmy!

If you’re so blinded by partisanship and years of propaganda that you can’t see a totally apolitical mention of former President Jimmy Carter without some sort of knee-jerk negative comment about his presidential term (even guised in an otherwise positive comment such as “I didn’t like him as president, but he is a decent man.”), you probably should move on. This ain’t about politics, and there ain’t nothing here for anyone to argue about. This is about a man dedicated to making the world a better place. It’s also about a man who is pretty down-to-earth, literally as a farmer, […]

Negative political ads have gotten out of hand

Negative political ads have gotten out of hand

Last year after ditching the dish and then cutting the cord, we hooked up with Hulu for our primary TV viewing. Sorry, I was on an alliteration roll. We can also watch Netflix, Amazon Prime and YouTube, also, but Hulu is our main source for live TV watching and DVR-ing. Of course, about the only thing we DVR anymore is “Jeopardy.” Unfortunately, a recent Hulu update decided we live somewhere near Savannah. Savannah’s nice and all, but we live hours away from Savannah. I wouldn’t really care where Hulu thinks we live, but it’s election season. And because Hulu thinks […]

Bad weather on the way? I’ll be outside

Bad weather on the way? I’ll be outside

When there’s a hurricane or blizzard looming, The Weather Channel ratings skyrocket. No one wants to see anyone killed, lose their home or be buried by an avalanche, but weather events excite some people. Guilty as charged. Yep, I’m a weather junkie. When I see storm chasers following tornadoes in the Midwest or pointing at a blown-off roof somewhere on the coast, I get a little jealous. I would love to be in their shoes — or wet boots. I’m not much for freezing to death, so I’d let someone else cover the blizzards, but I get plenty excited every […]

Y’all gotta start letting a few things slide

Y’all gotta start letting a few things slide

Way back in the early 1980s — long before a football player ever knelt for the National Anthem, back when no one carried AR-15s into the store to get milk and when wearing a mask into the liquor store was more likely to get you arrested than a “thank you” — a wise soul gave me some sage advice that sticks with me today: “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life.” I can’t remember exactly who told me that, but the word Tootie […]

Americans no longer know how to debate — only how to argue

Americans no longer know how to debate — only how to argue

We have less than two months until the next general election — and only about eight months until all the votes get counted. During this period of time, there is going to be an awful lot of arguing back and forth on social media. We will see manipulated photos and videos. We will see propaganda from Russians and Chinese and those dang Bermudans. Someone will die, and it will be that side’s fault. Another will die, and it’ll be the other side’s fault. People will point out hypocrisy on both sides, from lawmakers in hair salons to spiritual leaders in […]

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

I have made every effort to be part of the solution in this whole pandemic mess, and, yet, I still got the virus. I’ve worn a mask in public places, and I’ve stayed home as much as possible. Unfortunately, it appears I was two degrees of separation from a person who thought this was all a hoax and then got others sick. Oh well. It looks like I may survive and just merely may have trouble breathing and be a little bit tired until I die of natural causes — like a meteorite hitting me on the head. It’s 2020, […]

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

I can’t wait until Dwayne Johnson — a.k.a. The Rock — someday returns to pro wrestling and then grabs the microphone to scream, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!” so that I can jump out of my seat and reply, “No! Not really!” Then again, I haven’t been a wrestling fan since I was about 8 years old watching folks like Mr. Wrestling No. 2, Tommy “Wildfire” Rich and Abdullah the Butcher stomping around Columbus’ old Municipal Auditorium. And I only saw those matches on TV, never in person. But my point remains the same — I can’t […]

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that third bat at dinner last night. But, hey, it’s a constitutional right for a man to fill his belly with potentially pandemic-spreading flying rodents. In case you haven’t been on Facebook or Twitter in a while, you may not be aware that everything is a right in today’s America and we have the freedom to do anything. Yep, I got it. As they say in these here parts, “Chris done up and got The Rona.” I was careful, but I’m surrounded by people expressing their “rights” and “freedoms” all up and down aisle […]