Chris Johnson

2024 — The Year in Preview

2024 — The Year in Preview

I’ve been doing my annual Year in Preview as long as I can remember. Then again, I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, so that’s not saying too much. (It likely was a possum sammich, but it could have been a bowl of squirrel and dumplings.) Folks tell me I’ve been providing this critical public prognostication service since the last millennium — I assume toward the end of the last millennium, but they weren’t overly specific. And I won’t be stopping anytime soon because when you have the gift for seeing into the future as I have, it […]

TRAVEL VLOG: The new and improved El Salvador

TRAVEL VLOG: The new and improved El Salvador

I just returned from my second trip to El Salvador — two years apart — with The People Helping People Network and The Fuller Center for Housing. I’ve shared some impressions in the video below.  My main purpose was to capture some of the stories those two outstanding nonprofits are doing to empower and uplift Salvadoran families and how they are taking advantage of that hand-up to make their lives better. It’s a contagious success that can be seen throughout rural communities and in bustling San Salvador. Ms. Olympia (pictured above with yours truly) lives in a pitiful shack but […]

Congress is becoming the new middle school — but less mature

Congress is becoming the new middle school — but less mature

Welcome to the November assembly of the Capitol Middle School Student Government Association. My name is Mr. Johnson, and as part of my probation, I’ve been ordered to guide you the rest of this year. It was either that or clean the orangutan area at Zoo Atlanta, so please don’t make me regret my decision. Yes, Marjorie? MARJORIE: I just wanted to … ME: Um, please stand up when addressing everyone. MARJORIE: I am! ME: Oh, OK. Proceed. MARJORIE: I have it on good authority — or as we say in my neighborhood, I seen it on them interwebs — […]

Enter the crazy old uncle; exit the nuance

Enter the crazy old uncle; exit the nuance

I’ve been asked the following questions many times, and I believe it’s time to set the record straight once and for all: Are you conservative or liberal? Are you pro-life or pro-abortion? Israel or the Palestinians? Do you support gun control or the 2nd Amendment? Frozen or on the rocks? The answers are, in order — yes, yes, yes, yes and frozen. In this age of extreme polarization, America has become a this-or-that society. There’s no room for discussion in the gray areas of complicated issues. There are really only two political parties at work … and, yes, I use […]

The brrr-fect sleeping temperature

The brrr-fect sleeping temperature

You folks in my neck of the woods may have noticed that the temperature has dipped a bit at night — temporarily, I’m sure. Granted, temperatures have dipped across much of the U.S., but when it gets down into the lower 30s in the South, even for just a night or two, folks around here basically act the way you normal folks would if they were stranded on the planet Hoth. I’m just kidding, of course. I’ve been out of the South many times, and y’all ain’t normal. I mean, sure, we’re crazy from the heat down here, but y’all […]

A ruff morning at the pet-friendly hotel

A ruff morning at the pet-friendly hotel

The older I get, the less I like noise. Granted, “noise” is a relative term, but for me it means just about any sound that I don’t want to hear at that very moment. One of the noises I loathe is the incessantly barking dog. Now, I know some of you doggie lovers are having some knee-jerk reaction like, “He hates dogs! Who hates dogs?! Must love cats! Weirdo!” I don’t hate dogs. I don’t love cats. I merely hate noise. I actually like dogs if they understand when a bark or two is OK — such as when a […]

Some old song titles just don’t cut it anymore

Some old song titles just don’t cut it anymore

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the Speaker of the House, Ukraine, the border, inflation, Donald Trump’s legal woes, and President Biden’s sweet little attack dogs.  And now my head hurts. So, instead of writing a blog today, I’ve decided to tell you a little about my debut album. Yes, I strum a little guitar and sing like a ferret being run over by a garbage truck, so I’m totally qualified to make it in today’s music scene. Who knows? I could make it so big that I wind up dating Travis Kelce. My album is called, […]

Minor issues like dress codes have a tendency to Fester

Minor issues like dress codes have a tendency to Fester

When I write about dress codes, a lot of folks — especially women, and specifically among this particular group of humans, my wife — tend to get all upset with my opinions on how folks should be able to dress.  With a few exceptions here and there, my general opinion is that you ought to be able to dress however you dang well please. I’ve always been the guy pushing dress codes to the limit. In school, I found board shorts that I could pull down just enough to barely meet our vice principal’s measuring stick to determine if they […]