Chris Johnson

It’s so easy to confuse Mitt Romney with Dr. John

It’s so easy to confuse Mitt Romney with Dr. John

There is a major problem in the United States that no one addresses. As a pseudo-journalist whose name has yet to appear on President Trump’s enemies list, it falls upon to me to address this very serious issue. I know I’m not on the list because former FBI Director James Comey did not bring it up during his appearance on “The View.” (Or was I was watching Lurch on “The Addams Family?”) Anyway, this major problem is from the world of sports. And, no, I’m not talking about that quarterback who took a knee — Colin Kaeppur … Caperni … […]

I doubt Harry and Meghan need a toaster

I doubt Harry and Meghan need a toaster

When I was in junior high school, Prince Charles married Diana Spencer, and every girl at my school was swooning over the whole marrying-a-prince fantasy. Every boy at my school only cared about not being last to the monkey bars at recess and therefore being “it” first in a 10-minute game of tag. Not only did I not care about that wedding or any wedding at that age, but I couldn’t figure out why any country still had royalty or bowed down to other humans. In fact, I still think it’s a little crazy to consider another human being royalty. […]

Again, I say, the kids are all right

Again, I say, the kids are all right

Some folks would like you to think that teenagers today just sit around chewing on their Tide Pods while playing Grand Halo Death Dragon War 5 on the Xbox that they stole after Amazon delivered it to the neighbors’ doorstep across the street. And, sure, that’s mostly what teens do. But there is a segment of young folks out there — which I’m starting to believe is a vast majority — that wants to make the world a better place to live. They intend to do it through activism, actually voting and by simply caring for others. You may not […]

No one can read what I write

No one can read what I write

Last week I watched an excellent — if a couple hours too long — two-part HBO special called “The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling.” It was produced and directed by Judd Apatow, who considered Shandling his mentor. The show took a deep look at one of the greatest comedic minds of our time by mixing in clips and interviews amid short handwritten musings from Shandling’s diaries. As the handwriting would appear, I was struck by how much pain this guy, like so many comedians went though. I was struck by how insightful he was. And I thought to myself, “Wow, […]

Trump should go all-in on this whole TV administration thing

Trump should go all-in on this whole TV administration thing

Lately, President Trump has taken a lot of heat for turning to television for people to fill posts throughout his administration. Of course, that’s simply going to make him even more intent upon doing exactly that. I say the president should double-down on this whole television administration thing. I know he’d like to basically employ all of Fox News, but I think that is far too limiting, and they make a lot more money scaring old white folks in primetime than they could all day in government. He should reach beyond punditry channels, news networks and reality TV. He should […]

Have I meat-ed the end?

Have I meat-ed the end?

A couple of years ago, I wrote a column to help me cope with my son’s shocking conversion to vegetarianism. I come from a family barely evolved from Cro-Magnon man — you know, those guys who flew on pterodactyls and had their cars tipped over by giant racks of brontosaurus ribs. We have always been meatatarians. As I said at the time, though, everyone should be a vegetarian. It’s way better for the environment, and scientists are pretty insistent that it’s better for your health, too. Unfortunately, as I also said at the time, it was too late for me. […]

What men look for in underwear is no Secret

What men look for in underwear is no Secret

Like a lot of husbands, I’ve been accused on occasion of not listening. By “on occasion,” I mean a few times every day. However, my wife knows one way to get my attention: “I got a coupon.” “What’s that?” I’ve also been accused of being a cheapskate, although I prefer terms like frugal or spending-challenged. I’m definitely not embarrassed to present a coupon and save a few bucks. She said it was for a store that specializes in women’s underwear and lingerie and such. I’d reveal the name of the store, but I prefer to keep that a Secret. I […]

The kids are all right

The kids are all right

Today’s column in the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer is about some young folks who give me hope for the future — those impassioned, articulate kids from Parkland, Fla.; a group of college kids from Ohio’s Wittenberg University who are working with my nonprofit this week; and my own kids.  I take a couple of jabs at Georgia’s pandering politicians like Casey Cagle (who represents the worst in American politics), but mostly it’s about why you should quit worrying about kids eating Tide Pods and be optimistic. They haven’t been Cagle-ized yet. They still have integrity. So, check out the column. Also, you […]