Here’s what’s really going on in Congress with the border

We have an immigration problem. We have a border problem. We’ve had these issues for many years. Fixing it may be like the quest to foment peace in the Middle East — never gonna happen.

It is a problem. Fortunately, a few GOP folks worked with a few Democrats to craft some legislation that at least kinda sorta tries to address the problem.

But they forgot that’s not how D.C. works anymore (and I use the term “works” loosely). The intent no longer is to address problems but instead to leverage them by assigning blame to the other side in order to lift your side to power. Problems are useful political tools. Some folks forgot about this and were about to agree to a version of this latest bill until Daddy Trump stepped in and said, “The border is horrible. It’s bad. It’s dangerous. But, um, that’s cool because it might help me win — and that’s all that matters. Don’t fix it because, remember, we don’t actually care.”

“We don’t actually care,” repeated 90 percent of the GOP’s congressional zombie horde. The other 10 percent, six of who are not actual zombies, said, “Wait, what?”

So, House Speaker Mike Johnson now says the bill is DOA because Biden already has all the tools he needs to shut the border. Um, well, that’s cool, but why not give him what he’s asking for anyway? You know, just in case it helps.

“We don’t actually care.”

“Oh yeah.”

But folks who get their news from simplistic sound bytes on propaganda outlets that lead them to regurgitate things like “All you gotta do is …” in response to any issue on the planet don’t seem to understand what’s really going on here. So, here’s a little allegory involving a daddy and his two little boys that I hope will help:


Daddy: Little Joe! Tighten the bolts on the outside fence! Vermin are getting in!

Joe: OK. Wait, I thought I was sleepy or crooked, not little. Oh, well. Hmm, looks fine to me. I’d leave it alone. Try getting in now, critters! Oops, well that was a mistake! Dadgummit, critters everywhere. Hope no one notices. Maybe I’d better tighten those bolts after all. Hey, Mikey, bring me the socket set and hand me the 7/16ths socket.

Mikey: Here’s the 5/16ths you need.

Joe: That’s not working. Hand me the 7/16ths.

Mikey: Here you go, the 9/16ths.

Joe: That’s not working, either. It’s too big. Just give me the 7/16ths. It’s right there. I can see it in your hand.

Mikey: OK.


Mikey: OK, daddy.

Joe: Why?! It might work!

Daddy: Exactly. We can’t have that.

Mikey: Oh. Sorry, Joe, you’ve got what you need. Try harder.

Joe: That’s malarkey! Besides, even if the 9/16ths really did work, which it doesn’t, I don’t see the harm in handing me the 7/16ths. So what? What’s the worst that could happen? That it might actually work?


Mikey: Sorry, Joe. Daddy say no.

Joe: But …

Mikey: Hey, everybody, check out this gate Joe can’t fix! And get a close-up of the extreme concern on my face if you can.

Daddy: Good boy! And keep that 7/16ths in your pocket. I might need it someday.

Mikey: OK, Daddy.

What do you think about this?