Category: Uncategorized

My 50 favorite Jimmy Buffett songs not named “Margaritaville” … in no particular order

My 50 favorite Jimmy Buffett songs not named “Margaritaville” … in no particular order

Today is my 50th birthday. I’m writing this in advance, though, so just in case I died before this automatically posted, well, today would have been my 50th birthday. But let’s assume I’m still here. It just makes me feel better. Because it’s my 50th birthday, you can bet I’m at the beach. It won’t be a crowded beach, and I’ll be socially distancing just as I have my previous 49 years of going to the beach. There are margaritas flowing, something on the grill, and tropical music — especially a lot of tunes from Jimmy Buffett, who has provided […]

I’m about to do something these greats never did

I’m about to do something these greats never did

This coming Saturday, I’ll be celebrating a milestone birthday at the beach with a handful of family members. I promise to practice social distancing while there, something I’ve been practicing at the beach (and everywhere else) for the last 49 years or so. Yes, I’ll be turning 50 — a bit of a miracle given some close calls with car crashes, kayaking accidents and 20 years of battling our nation’s greedy health care system. Well, I assume I’ll make it to Saturday. It is 2020, after all, so any day now the super volcano under Yellowstone will erupt (it’s due) […]

Kemp sows dangerous confusion with ambiguous loopholes

Kemp sows dangerous confusion with ambiguous loopholes

(Photo: Gov. Kemp and I agree that access to tequila is “essential” — though I don’t think either of us has a truly legitimate argument.) It seems there is still a lot of confusion surrounding Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp’s order issued last week. Plenty of establishments are still open, including the liquor store closest to my house. Just today I saw a car dealership open and a man delivering pine straw. I can’t imagine why people are confused. After all, I’ve got the text of the order right here in front of me and it clearly states in no uncertain […]

Coronavius testing shortage: You can’t find what you’re not looking for

Coronavius testing shortage: You can’t find what you’re not looking for

(Photo: Unless this guy drives you to get a coronavirus test, you’re probably not going to get one.) Big news! Day 10 of self-quarantine, and I almost got tested. That’s the second time I’ve almost gotten tested in the past eight days, so we are definitely making progress on this testing front! Way to go, leaders! I’m still hearing reports of five cases in one county, four there, and three here. Please remember that’s all baloney. The entire state of Georgia has tested fewer than 10,000 folks at this point, and the vast majority of those folks are in urban […]

Day 4 of self-quarantine

Day 4 of self-quarantine

The next coronavirus bill passed by Congress and signed by the president should require that anyone ordered to self-quarantine by their doctor should be able to do so on a small island of their choosing. Contact your congressional representative today. So, Day 4 of this stay-at-home stuff, and I’m already feeling better. I’m now 57 percent sure I’m not carrying coronavirus. But, because I cannot definitively say I don’t have Covid-19, or the flu, or pneumonia, or ebola, or the Bubonic Plague with this extreme lack of testing, I’m supposed to stay home for another 10 days or so before […]

I don’t have coronavirus, or maybe I do — it’s hard to tell in Houston County, Georgia

I don’t have coronavirus, or maybe I do — it’s hard to tell in Houston County, Georgia

Click here for my Day 4 quarantine blog update. Day 2 of quarantine … still alive! That’s right, I’m on a 14-day self-quarantine, along with my wife. It’s sort of a staycation with coughing, except that I’m able to work from home, and she’s trying to figure out how to do it in this nation of no guaranteed sick leave. Over the weekend, we both developed coughs, and my condition felt almost exactly like the pneumonia I was diagnosed with in January. That pneumonia was never confirmed because apparently you need an X-ray to confirm that, and, you know, this […]

Is the music ever really over?

Is the music ever really over?

Photo: The Missin’ Links band was started by a couple of my uncles in Ideal, Georgia, in the 1960s, and my dad (left) played bass A couple Saturday nights ago, my wife and I attended a concert by a group we’ve never seen before — and, apparently, we never will be able to again. It was a reunion show for members of The Malibu’s /Sixpence, who formed back in the 1960s like so many bands hoping to make it big. Back then there was a fine line between being a band that played high school sock hops and a band […]

Vehicle safety has come a long way since I rolled around in the floorboard as a kid

Vehicle safety has come a long way since I rolled around in the floorboard as a kid

I drive a 2011 pickup truck. That’s not exactly ancient or an antique, but it’s also not fresh off the assembly line. That means it doesn’t have its own electronic brain like so many of today’s new vehicles, nor does it boast as many safety features. My wife’s car, meanwhile, boasts so many safety features that you’re barely allowed to ride in it. Now, I don’t have anything against advancing safety features — except for that whole “I’ll brake for you” deal. I wouldn’t mind my truck warning me that there’s a stalled car up ahead or a deer in […]