Category: Uncategorized

Bigots are back — with the governor on their side

(Update: Thankfully, this bill died once again before coming up for a full vote. This allows the GOP to run on the issue again and again while still scaring evangelicals that everyone is coming for their rights. They get the best of both worlds — fear-mongering and avoiding the issue about which they fear-monger.) It seems Georgia’s right-wing is as obsessed with gay people as Fox News is with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They’re always on their mind, as the song goes. […]

I ain’t no strangled conformist

More than once I’ve voiced my opposition to ties. They serve no purpose other than lightly strangling conformists — or severely strangling them in the case of folks like CBS Sports broadcaster Verne Lundquist (pictured above), who had to retire from calling SEC football games and the NCAA Tournament due to a lack of oxygen getting to his brain. Next week’s column mentions my war against the tie. It’s a war I feel like I’m winning until somebody dies and […]

Virginia’s governor is a liar — this is how I know

It’s pretty clear that Virginia  Gov. Ralph Northam is lying about the racist photo that appeared in his medical school yearbook. How do I know? In denying that he was pictured in the photo of a person in blackface and a person in a KKK costume — a day after apologizing for being in it — he said, and I quote: “I believe that I am not either of the people in that photo.” Look, I can’t remember everything I […]

Dodging snowflakes with Jimmy Buffett

One of the great things about a Jimmy Buffett concert is the way folks from all kinds of different backgrounds and persuasions come together as one wonderfully weird and colorful — if somewhat inebriated — flock (or “phlock for us Parrotheads). Most of that experience happens in the afternoon of tailgating before the show, which is more of a show than the show itself. Friends and strangers share food and drinks, high-five, dance together, splash around in inflatable pools, throw […]

2019: The year in preview

As we say goodbye to 2018 — also adios, farewell, and go crawl back under whatever horrible rock you came from to 2018 — we can rest assured that 2019 can’t possibly be as irritating, mainly because there are no midterm elections. And in Georgia there is no gubernatorial election, which means the next time Brian Kemp points a gun at a teenager, he could get arrested for it. It has become an annual tradition for, literally, dozens of people […]

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you …

At the end of every episode of “Barney and Friends,” a giant purple slightly-too-happy tyrannosaurus rex led the show’s young stars in singing the “I Love You” song: I love you/You love me/We’re a happy family/With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you/Won’t you say you love me too? Children happily sang along because Barney would eat children who did not cooperate — a scene more brutal than any in “Jurassic Park” because Barney had no […]

10 Jimmy Buffett songs perfect for your Hurricane Michael playlist

(Note: Yes, I posted this same thing last September when Irma hit. I put a lot of sweat into changing the word Irma to Michael as Margaritahill is under threat of yet another tropical storm, this time a little stronger.) I love the beach. Unfortunately, I live three hours from the nearest coast. But, thanks to Hurricane Michael, it looks like I’ll have a tropical couple of days here in Perry, Georgia. Of course, Michael should be merely a strong […]

TRAVELOGUE: Memphis, Elvis, BBQ and the birth of rock ‘n’ roll

About 10 days ago, I set out for a place I’d never been — Memphis, Tennessee — with a couple of women who are big fans of some guy named Elvis Presley, who is some sort of music or movie star, or a gas station attendant, depending on what magazine covers you like to peruse in the supermarket checkout aisle. My Mom and my wife Shellie are both Elvis fans, so this trip was for them — especially my Mom […]