• Tag: bible

    What if brand names accurately reflected the product?

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    What if brand names accurately reflected the product?

    Hello, and welcome to Reality Brands — the new superstore for all of your shopping needs. We don’t carry traditional brand names, but — even better — we carry brands that accurately reflect the items for sale. And we sell dang near everything. My name is Mr. Friendly because I work on commission. Stereo systems? Hmm, we haven’t sold one of those in a while. A lot of bass, huh? Well, we do have this system here. As you can see it has the old school turntable and CD player with 100-watt speakers. It’s the DTP-3000x from NGH, Neighbors Gonna […]

    When life hands you lemons, ask for limes and mix a serenity potion

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    When life hands you lemons, ask for limes and mix a serenity potion

    If you own a television, a smart phone, a computer, an iPad or have a relationship with anyone named Alexa or Siri, you may have noticed that the world is pretty much going to hell. I mean that in a figurative way, of course, as the world can longer afford to go to hell, what with gas prices and all. You can’t literally go to hell, although it has literally been hot as hell all summer — though hell is more of a dry heat. We’ve got wildfires in California and Greece, hurricanes that blow up overnight and have a […]

    The world is ending … again

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    The world is ending … again

    In case you haven’t heard, so-called Christian numerologist David Meade says that September 23, 2017 (OMG, that’s this Saturday!) marks the beginning of the end of the world. Again. Meade claims that a constellation will appear over the skies of Jerusalem on Saturday marking the beginning of the end as the planet Nibiru — which you’ve never heard of because it doesn’t exist — hurtles toward Earth, a rendezvous that will bring all kinds of end-times disasters like earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and new Rascal Flatts albums. You might not have heard about it because the world has ended so much in […]