Tag: coronavirus

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

I have made every effort to be part of the solution in this whole pandemic mess, and, yet, I still got the virus. I’ve worn a mask in public places, and I’ve stayed home as much as possible. Unfortunately, it appears I was two degrees of separation from a person who thought this was all a hoax and then got others sick. Oh well. It looks like I may survive and just merely may have trouble breathing and be a little bit tired until I die of natural causes — like a meteorite hitting me on the head. It’s 2020, […]

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

I can’t wait until Dwayne Johnson — a.k.a. The Rock — someday returns to pro wrestling and then grabs the microphone to scream, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!” so that I can jump out of my seat and reply, “No! Not really!” Then again, I haven’t been a wrestling fan since I was about 8 years old watching folks like Mr. Wrestling No. 2, Tommy “Wildfire” Rich and Abdullah the Butcher stomping around Columbus’ old Municipal Auditorium. And I only saw those matches on TV, never in person. But my point remains the same — I can’t […]

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that third bat at dinner last night. But, hey, it’s a constitutional right for a man to fill his belly with potentially pandemic-spreading flying rodents. In case you haven’t been on Facebook or Twitter in a while, you may not be aware that everything is a right in today’s America and we have the freedom to do anything. Yep, I got it. As they say in these here parts, “Chris done up and got The Rona.” I was careful, but I’m surrounded by people expressing their “rights” and “freedoms” all up and down aisle […]

Wondering how I’m able to manage this coiffure in a pandemic, are you?

Wondering how I’m able to manage this coiffure in a pandemic, are you?

(Photo: Don’t tell Floyd, but I haven’t had my hair cut by a pro in years.) Something many folks have missed during these days of avoiding coronavirus like the plague — which it is — is regular haircuts. A few brave folks, of course, have charged courageously into the salon because as Billy Crystal used to point out on Fernando’s Hideaway on “Saturday Night Live:” It’s better to look good than to feel good.” Don’t I know it. Some of you, though, have played it a little safer. You’re the guys looking like Shaggy from “Scooby-Doo,” and the women looking […]

Much needs changing, but let’s not forget these big issues

Much needs changing, but let’s not forget these big issues

A couple of months ago, as many of us were dealing with shelter-in-place orders during those good ol’ days when we still cared about stifling a pandemic, Land O Lakes made some big news. That’s right. Butter. Butter made the news. They removed the image of a Native American woman from their packaging. It was a move hailed by half the nation and decried by those thinking this could be a slippery slope toward having almost nothing racist anymore. They actually removed the woman from the packaging in February, but I guess no one noticed until April because we were […]

A mask is not an imposition unless you’re selfish

A mask is not an imposition unless you’re selfish

One of the biggest problems in America right now is the way people generalize and oversimplify issues. Well, OK, that’s not exactly true because generalizations and oversimplifications barely crack the top 1,000 of problems in America right now. So, allow me to generalize and oversimplify for a moment. (Or don’t, because I’m going to do so anyway.) I’ve realized that there are two kinds of people in America. No, not Republicans and Democrats. No, not Southerners and Yankees. No, not Coke people and Pepsi people. True, those are kinds of people — well, except the Pepsi folks. You can’t love […]

Neighborhood has a new sound during the pandemic

Neighborhood has a new sound during the pandemic

My neighborhood has grown exponentially since we moved in nearly three and a half years ago. Back then, we were the third house built on our street. Now, there are 25 or so. More have built on other streets. For the past few years, though, there was something conspicuously absent from the streets — children. I knew they existed because I’ve seen pictures. They’re like shorter versions of adults. Then something called coronavirus arrived in Georgia and schools began canceling in-person classes. If I’d have known it was possible to shut down schools, I’d have created COVID for my seventh-grade […]

I thought I could handle life without live sports

I thought I could handle life without live sports

The coronavirus pandemic has shone a harsh spotlight on a lot of issues in American society. It has revealed that some folks consider great-grandmas and others in their age group expendable. So much for the wisdom of our elders. If they were so “smart,” then why did they decide to get older? It has revealed that the personal economies of most Americans are super-fragile. For years, we’ve heard that millions of hard-working Americans can’t afford a $400 emergency. We never addressed this as a society until now, and we still haven’t done too good at it: Sorry you lost your […]