Tag: COVID

What if a pandemic closed schools 40 years ago?

What if a pandemic closed schools 40 years ago?

I’ve had to quarantine a couple of times over the past 12 months. The first time was in the spring of 2020 when I had all kinds of COVID symptoms (as did my wife), but I couldn’t get a test to confirm it one way or the other because I didn’t look, you know, dead enough. We got charged hundreds of dollars to be told “never mind.” The second time was when my wife had contact with a science-denier who went out as usual without a mask around a bunch of like-minded folks. Sure enough, the science-denier brought it to […]

2021: The Year in Preview

2021: The Year in Preview

I’ve been doing my Year in Preview for a long time. Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean. Higher than any bird ever flew. Wait. Sorry. I’ve got some song stuck in my head. Damn you, Dan Fogelberg! That was the problem with 2020. I got COVID, and brain fog is one of the after-effects. Worse than that, I didn’t see it coming in my 2020 Year in Preview, the first one I’ve ever gotten even 1 percent wrong. That means that I’ve got to get my 2021 predictions absolutely perfect this time. I’ve got to improve my average […]

I’m ready for the COVID vaccine, microchip and all

I’m ready for the COVID vaccine, microchip and all

It looks like a COVID vaccine is finally on the way. Granted, there are millions of Americans who vow not to take it, nor allow their kids to take it. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that those are the same people who also don’t believe that the coronavirus is actually killing people, that climate change is real or that Donald Trump lost the election. (Yes, I know the election was “rigged” … against one guy. Overall, the GOP had an outstanding election nationwide except for that one little race upon which the Democrats and […]

I’m not to the point of looking for my name in the obits, but …

I’m not to the point of looking for my name in the obits, but …

Comedians such as George Burns and Carl Reiner, along with plenty of well-known older folks before and after them, as well as lesser-known older folks, have quipped something to the extent of “Each morning I read the obituaries in the newspaper, and if I’m not in there I get up and make breakfast.” Lesser-known folks to use that line would include my late grandma, who said it often. I’m a little disappointed now to know she was stealing that saying without giving proper credit, but then again I knew somebody who went to church every Sunday, crocheted doilies and made […]

Hate masks? Well, here a few benefits to wearing one that you may not have thought about

Hate masks? Well, here a few benefits to wearing one that you may not have thought about

It’s been about two months since I contracted COVID. I’ve been pretty darn safe through this whole pandemic mess, but I was just two degrees of separation from a science-denier who didn’t take this very seriously. Now, I’ve never been in the top 1 percent of my class, the top 1 percent of income earners or the top 1 percent of guys in People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” edition, so I’m thankful that I also wasn’t in the less desirable 1 percent — the 1 percent who die after getting COVID. (Or, as the science-deniers will no doubt dispute, the […]

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

Colonel would never surrender this slogan to a virus!

I have made every effort to be part of the solution in this whole pandemic mess, and, yet, I still got the virus. I’ve worn a mask in public places, and I’ve stayed home as much as possible. Unfortunately, it appears I was two degrees of separation from a person who thought this was all a hoax and then got others sick. Oh well. It looks like I may survive and just merely may have trouble breathing and be a little bit tired until I die of natural causes — like a meteorite hitting me on the head. It’s 2020, […]

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

This COVID symptom stinks, although I can’t smell it

I can’t wait until Dwayne Johnson — a.k.a. The Rock — someday returns to pro wrestling and then grabs the microphone to scream, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!” so that I can jump out of my seat and reply, “No! Not really!” Then again, I haven’t been a wrestling fan since I was about 8 years old watching folks like Mr. Wrestling No. 2, Tommy “Wildfire” Rich and Abdullah the Butcher stomping around Columbus’ old Municipal Auditorium. And I only saw those matches on TV, never in person. But my point remains the same — I can’t […]

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

Only an idiot knows everything — especially when it comes to coronavirus

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that third bat at dinner last night. But, hey, it’s a constitutional right for a man to fill his belly with potentially pandemic-spreading flying rodents. In case you haven’t been on Facebook or Twitter in a while, you may not be aware that everything is a right in today’s America and we have the freedom to do anything. Yep, I got it. As they say in these here parts, “Chris done up and got The Rona.” I was careful, but I’m surrounded by people expressing their “rights” and “freedoms” all up and down aisle […]