Tag: donald trump

Modern technology has its flaws, but I’m grateful for some of it

Modern technology has its flaws, but I’m grateful for some of it

I usually work from home about three days a week. Being in the communications field, most of what I do can be done can be done from just about anywhere with an internet connection. Don’t worry, though: I’m not writing this from the bathroom. It’s not like I’m the president. “Hey, Melania, pause ‘Fox and Friends.’ I got an idea for a legendary Tweet that’s going to go right up their with the Gettysburg Address and the Emaciated Promulgation. Besides, last night’s Big Mac is calling. May have a full-on Tweet storm coming on.” When I’m in the actual office […]

I’m here to help Georgia solve its budget shortfall

I’m here to help Georgia solve its budget shortfall

In the past, I’ve come up with some ideas to help our federal government balance its budget. Among them were ideas such as selling one of the Dakotas. My argument was that no country really needs two Dakotas. One is more than enough. But with our nation projected to once again run up a $1 trillion budget deficit while the debt runs over $21 trillion, it’s clear no one is listening. Apparently, our federal government only runs up huge deficits during a great recession … or during the “greatest economy ever” … or anytime in between. Clearly, we’re going to […]

Hey Iowa: Stick to corn

Hey Iowa: Stick to corn

Iowa is known for only a handful of things. Captain Kirk was from there. Dead baseball players wander its corn fields. It is the nation’s leading producer of ethanol. And it is known as “The Hawkeye State,” making it the only state in the nation that got its nickname from Alan Alda’s character on “MASH.” And, oh yeah, they also get to vote for president before anyone else, shaping the race for the whole rest of the nation. Well, maybe vote isn’t the right word. They caucus. If you thought caucuses were some mountain range in Europe, let me help […]

2020: The Year in Preview

2020: The Year in Preview

When most folks make predictions, they are merely guessing. But when I make predictions — especially about something as important and as annual as my Year in Preview — know that I am not merely guessing. Puh-leeze! I’m no amateur here. I’m guessing and throwing two tennis balls against a wall, each ball with a prediction about a topic of major importance. Then I send ol’ Blue here, a hound dog with the ability to foretell the future, to chase the balls. Whichever one he pees on is the prediction I announce. By the time I get around to predicting […]

Sometimes, resolutions are for the Dawgs

Sometimes, resolutions are for the Dawgs

Every year, I make a few New Year’s resolutions. I don’t usually make them public because the last thing I need in my life is someone holding me accountable to what I say or write. It’d be like if President Trump said something like, “We’re gonna build a big, beautiful wall, and Mexico is gonna pay for it,” and his supporters actually held him to it. No, I can’t handle accountability any more than he can. Unfortunately, I can’t blame everybody else — Democrats, the fake news, the Fed, Rosie O’Donnell — for my failures. If I make a resolution, […]

Even Facebook knows the value of a good snooze

Even Facebook knows the value of a good snooze

There have been some truly remarkable inventions over the past couple of centuries — the automobile, the airplane, the microwave, the television, the computer and the Weeble Wobble, just to name a handful. But I think we can all agree that the greatest invention of the past 100 years — perhaps even the last millennium or two — clearly is the snooze button. Sure, an awful lot of us drive cars, too many of us watch TV and only a handful of disturbed people do not love Weeble Wobbles, but all of us use the snooze button. Those extra nine […]

2018 — The year in PREVIEW

2018 — The year in PREVIEW

For many years now, I’ve published my annual Year in Preview in the print edition of the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer. However, the Ledger-Enquirer’s pages are filled with reports from legitimate journalists about what’s going on in Columbus and around the world — or as President Trump calls it, “Fake News! Sad!” I cannot afford to have my annual Year in Preview — which is not a bunch of predictions and prognostications about the year 2018 but an actual collection of soon-to-be-proven-true facts — associated with “Fake News!” This is too important. I’ve already run these by both Sarah Huckabee Sanders and […]

The world is ending … again

The world is ending … again

In case you haven’t heard, so-called Christian numerologist David Meade says that September 23, 2017 (OMG, that’s this Saturday!) marks the beginning of the end of the world. Again. Meade claims that a constellation will appear over the skies of Jerusalem on Saturday marking the beginning of the end as the planet Nibiru — which you’ve never heard of because it doesn’t exist — hurtles toward Earth, a rendezvous that will bring all kinds of end-times disasters like earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and new Rascal Flatts albums. You might not have heard about it because the world has ended so much in […]