Tag: donald trump

We desperately need another choice

We desperately need another choice

So, y’all are really telling me that my choice in this year’s presidential election comes down to a man who always appears tired and confused or a nutjob narcissist who is laser-focused on the urgent decision of whether it’d be better to die by shark bite or electrocution? Really? When it comes down to shark bite vs. electrocution, I feel the same way I do about the election: I’m not satisfied with those options. There are 337 million people in the U.S., and I bet there’s at least one person — maybe even two — who would make better presidents. […]

My simple solution for America’s roads

My simple solution for America’s roads

The No. 1 song on the day I was born was “The Long and Winding Road” by The Beatles. I think that was supposed to be symbolic, but while my road has been quite winding, it’s actually been rather short and generally leads me around in circles through potholes and into occasional animals such as deer, stray dogs or David Allan Coe, whose mama also once got runned over by a damned ol’ train once. Or so I’ve heard. Fortunately, he was so drunk he barely noticed that he totaled my truck. The insurance company agreed to fix the front […]

In this age of dumb conspiracy theories, I have a few little ones of my own

In this age of dumb conspiracy theories, I have a few little ones of my own

We are now living in the age of conspiracy theories. It’s probably no coincidence that we’re also living in the age of dwindling journalism staffs, attacks on books, surging artificial intelligence capabilities and addiction to social media, where people believe headlines they see fly by on their phones whether they are from a conspiracy nut like Alex Jones or a serious source of investigative journalism like The Onion.  The latest fellow to come out as ignorant — though I do commend him for his bravery — is Tyler Owens, a defensive back from Texas Tech who recently made comments at […]

Another case of selective non-outrage

Another case of selective non-outrage

In the grand scheme of things, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce’s latest sideline meltdown is not a big deal. But in addition to behaving like an entitled 4-year-old hyped-up on Fun Dip and Pixy Stix whose parents won’t let him buy a Nerf gun at Wal-Mart, he did push Coach Andy Reid, who was able to stay upright thanks to the fact that he is a human Weeble Wobble.  The right thing to do would be for Kelce to issue a sincere apology instead of laughing it off, for the Chiefs to fine him and set a standard […]

Breakdancing ain’t no substitute for football

Breakdancing ain’t no substitute for football

As long as I can remember — which is usually about as far back as yesterday’s lunch — I’ve suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Granted, it’s probably way down the list of my disorders, but it’s about to kick in big time. Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD or as the winter blahs, is primarily caused by reduced hours of sunlight which was mandated by Obama-era officials trying to curb global warming. Fortunately, Donald Trump says that if he is elected, he will pass a note to his jail guard demanding that Congress pass a law creating 23 hours […]

Here’s what’s really going on in Congress with the border

Here’s what’s really going on in Congress with the border

We have an immigration problem. We have a border problem. We’ve had these issues for many years. Fixing it may be like the quest to foment peace in the Middle East — never gonna happen. It is a problem. Fortunately, a few GOP folks worked with a few Democrats to craft some legislation that at least kinda sorta tries to address the problem. But they forgot that’s not how D.C. works anymore (and I use the term “works” loosely). The intent no longer is to address problems but instead to leverage them by assigning blame to the other side in […]

Too much cussin’ ruffles feathers

Too much cussin’ ruffles feathers

I recently shared on my official Facebook page a blog post I penned about how ridiculous it was that Iowa and New Hampshire have so much power in determining our presidential candidates. Our primary process is stupid and unfair, and that goes for both Democrats and Republicans. Of course, comments spiraled into the typical “all Republicans are evil morons” and “all Democrats are crazy libtards” kind of useless comments in which they each try to own each other with simplistic insults — none of which had anything to do with the point of the post, which I suspect very few […]

Quit hogging the election fun, Iowa and New Hampshire!

Quit hogging the election fun, Iowa and New Hampshire!

I’m sure Iowa is a lovely state when it’s not covered by two feet of snow, when it’s above 0 degrees, or when murderous children named Malachi and Isaac aren’t roaming its corn fields. (But, wait, Chris, wasn’t “Children of the Corn” set in Nebraska? That’s a dumb question because it doesn’t matter. Nebraska and Iowa are both the same giant cornfield, so it doesn’t make a difference.) It also doesn’t make a difference whom you prefer during presidential primary season unless you live in Iowa or some theoretical state called New Hampshire where Census records show that no one […]