• Tag: donald trump

    Sneak previews from my spy novel

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    Sneak previews from my spy novel

    You may have heard that I’ve published my first novel — “The Holler” under my pen name Bo Hunter. But did you know that I wrote a spy thriller under another pen name, Ho Bunter? No? Well, that’s because it has been banned as “fake news” even though it’s fiction. It was seized from boxes in my bathroom by the FBI’s Kash Patel himself, who gave me the side eye as he said some of the fake information in the novel was classified. I’m not legally allowed to reprint direct passages from the novel, but here are some sneak previews […]

    2026: The year in PREVIEW

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    2026: The year in PREVIEW

    I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been doing my annual Year in Preview, but it’s been at least a quarter century. I’m talking way back when there was no Facebook, Donald Trump was still good buddies with Jeffrey Epstein, and Mike Lindell was more into drugs than making pillows and being America’s No. 1 source of news from The Pentagon. It’s become an annual tradition, like Christmas, the War on Christmas, and GOP lawmakers lining up under the White House mistletoe to kiss President Trump’s behind. Therefore, I must reveal my 100 percent guaranteed-to-be-true prognostications for the year ahead […]

    We need more than just donkeys and elephants

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    We need more than just donkeys and elephants

    Many Americans — and by “many” I mean me and some lady named Gladys in Topeka — long for an alternative to our nation’s current two-party system. With so many Democrats determined to shoot themselves in the foot at every turn and finding new ways to whine, and with Republicans lacking integrity and spine to stand up to authoritarianism and oligarchy, the two-party system has hit a wall. The only thing Democrats and Republicans can agree upon these days is that they don’t want any third parties at the table. Awesome! Something that can bring them together! And they said […]

    As long as we’re renaming stuff …

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    As long as we’re renaming stuff …

    I know a lot of folks are up in arms about the very important order changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, but those folks are missing out on some opportunities.  Sure, this renaming will cause a few complications. The biggest of which is that John Cougar Mellencamp’s best song, “Pink Houses,” currently has this lyric: Well, there’s people and more people/What do they know, know, know?/Go to work in some high-rise/And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico, ooh, yeah This name change totally screws that up, and I’m sure John will be […]

    2025 — The Year in PREVIEW

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    2025 — The Year in PREVIEW

    It’s that time of year again when normal folks like you begin wondering what an abnormal guy — in this case, me — thinks will happen in the coming year so that you can mark your calendars for days you might want to just stay in the house and avoid the world. Of course, that’s only for certain days, such as days 2 through 364, although August 3 might not be so bad — at least from 1:12 p.m. to 3:47 p.m. At 3:48, get your butt back inside! Immediately! I’ve been doing my annual Year in Preview for 25 […]

    I finally understand Obi-Wan and his man cave

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    I finally understand Obi-Wan and his man cave

    When I saw the first “Star Wars” movie, I had a few questions, such as: “Why are we starting on Episode IV? … Where did Stormtroopers learn to shoot? … How did everyone know English in a galaxy far, far away? … Can I have more popcorn?” Fortunately, those questions were nipped in the bud: “Shut up and watch the movie! This cost me $5!” It’s the tiny unrealistic things in movies that keep me up at night more than the major ridiculousness. For instance, you’d think that after watching “Teen Wolf,” I’d wonder how come it wasn’t much bigger […]

    We desperately need another choice

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    We desperately need another choice

    So, y’all are really telling me that my choice in this year’s presidential election comes down to a man who always appears tired and confused or a nutjob narcissist who is laser-focused on the urgent decision of whether it’d be better to die by shark bite or electrocution? Really? When it comes down to shark bite vs. electrocution, I feel the same way I do about the election: I’m not satisfied with those options. There are 337 million people in the U.S., and I bet there’s at least one person — maybe even two — who would make better presidents. […]

    My simple solution for America’s roads

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    My simple solution for America’s roads

    The No. 1 song on the day I was born was “The Long and Winding Road” by The Beatles. I think that was supposed to be symbolic, but while my road has been quite winding, it’s actually been rather short and generally leads me around in circles through potholes and into occasional animals such as deer, stray dogs or David Allan Coe, whose mama also once got runned over by a damned ol’ train once. Or so I’ve heard. Fortunately, he was so drunk he barely noticed that he totaled my truck. The insurance company agreed to fix the front […]