Tag: Fox News

Protesters should ditch their tents for hammocks

Protesters should ditch their tents for hammocks

On college campuses across America, little tent cities of kids addicted to protest culture are popping up and getting in the way of normal students who are engaging in far more common collegiate endeavors like racking up tens of thousands of dollars in debt on their way to achieving a Bachelor of Arts degree in Taylor Swift studies or stealing rival Northwest Junior Central State University’s bulldog mascot so that North Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem can shoot it in the head. You know, normal college stuff that we’ll all laugh about someday.  If you watch Fox News, you might think […]

If y’all would stop being so gullible, that’d be just super-duper

If y’all would stop being so gullible, that’d be just super-duper

There was a day and age when you could turn on the television and know that whatever you saw was absolutely 100 percent true — Walter Cronkite’s news, Oral Roberts’ warnings that God was gonna take him if you didn’t send enough cash, Georgia Championship Wrestling matches, and, most terrifyingly, that some weirdo named Mr. Whipple was going to accost you if you squeezed toilet paper at the grocery store. To this day, you still won’t find me squeezing toilet paper at the store. Today, though, we have 347 channels. In many ways, that can be a good thing. But […]

Absolutists on both sides interfere with progress and understanding

Absolutists on both sides interfere with progress and understanding

Americans have become so polarized that they have pushed themselves into camps, built walls and locked their brains to the point that every issue to them is utterly simple. You’re an idiot if you get your news from that source. Republicans don’t care about the working class and poor. Democrats want to control you. Bud Light is indoctrinating your children. Everyone at the Capitol on Jan. 6 deserves to be in prison. Mickey Mouse is too woke. Dave Chappelle is a transphobe. Joe Biden runs a crime family. Bill Maher is an Islamophobe. These are the kinds of things you […]

What big cities can learn from small towns … and vice versa

What big cities can learn from small towns … and vice versa

Photo: Generic small-town USA — not Oglethorpe, Georgia (which is much smaller) In the early 1980s, my dad had enough with living in the city. He’d grown up in the country, surrounded by farms, farm animals and farm folks. The land was green and the air was clean. But in the 1980s, the place we were living had too many paved streets, too much traffic, too many people, too many traffic lights and too much noise. We lived in Oglethorpe, Georgia, with its one traffic light and 1,000 residents — or, as my dad saw it, way too many. I […]

Are they scared of drag queens, books or both?

Are they scared of drag queens, books or both?

When I got married on Key West’s Smather’s Beach back in 2012, the honeymoon opportunities were pretty endless. My preferred outing was a snorkeling excursion in which a catamaran dropped us off over a stunning coral reef. It was also the first time my wife tried to strangle me as she climbed upon my back with her arms around my neck when a 5-foot reef shark swam right in front of us. The first time your wife tries to kill you is always the most memorable, especially when it’s in such a beautiful tropical location.  Later, my wife got to […]

Politicians’ latest game in D.C. is a pain in the ice

Politicians’ latest game in D.C. is a pain in the ice

Sorry to interrupt your “work” as you try to keep an eye on that pivotal March Madness first-round matchup between Grand Canyon University and Sewage Ditch Community College, but that’s hardly the biggest sports story of the month.  Nor did the biggest sports story come from the NFL Combine, where Southwest Mississippi guard Bubba Squashmeyer ran a 2:04.45, which would have set a new record had it been the New York City Marathon and not the 40-yard dash. Fortunately, he did set a new physical measurement mark with a 95-inch neck, breaking the record held for more than four decades […]

Positives from the pandemic — three years later

Positives from the pandemic — three years later

Exactly when and how Covid-19 first started is a mystery, but we’re making some definitive progress on figuring it out because in America job No. 1 in any situation is to find somebody to blame. Recent analyses by various U.S. government agencies have recently concluded with a low degree of 33 percent certainty that it maybe might have possibly started when a lab assistant at the Wuhan Lab in China picked up a flying fox bat and side of fries from the Wet Market Drive-Thru on his way home from work after meeting with visiting American immunologist Dr. Anthony Fauci, […]