Tag: gym

An unexpected hiccup in my return to the gym

An unexpected hiccup in my return to the gym

When you get to be my age, you’ve got to make some choices about your health. You could say something like, “Hey, 52 years is a good run, so I think I’m going to drink a few margaritas, eat some double-chili-cheeseburgers and then watch five straight games from this here recliner. Might squeeze in a nap, too. I’m done with exercising … forever.” To which your supportive wife might respond, “Chris Johnson, that is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, and, believe me, that’s one loooong list of dumb stuff that has come out of your mouth.” My wife is […]

I’m that smelly cat Phoebe was singing about

I’m that smelly cat Phoebe was singing about

So, I was in Wally World on my lunch break and … I can see in your eyes that you’re thinking, “Oh this is gonna go well.” It’s like when a story begins, “So, this one time, me and Bubba’d been drinkin’ all night and then …” “Lemme guess, Chris: Then you went to Wal-Mart?” However, this story is completely different because I hadn’t been drinking, I haven’t even seen Bubba since his picture ran with the story about the beef jerky heist ran in the paper, and, again, I was on my lunch break. I barely even had time […]