Tag: Hunter Biden

Quit hogging the election fun, Iowa and New Hampshire!

Quit hogging the election fun, Iowa and New Hampshire!

I’m sure Iowa is a lovely state when it’s not covered by two feet of snow, when it’s above 0 degrees, or when murderous children named Malachi and Isaac aren’t roaming its corn fields. (But, wait, Chris, wasn’t “Children of the Corn” set in Nebraska? That’s a dumb question because it doesn’t matter. Nebraska and Iowa are both the same giant cornfield, so it doesn’t make a difference.) It also doesn’t make a difference whom you prefer during presidential primary season unless you live in Iowa or some theoretical state called New Hampshire where Census records show that no one […]

2023: The Year in Preview

2023: The Year in Preview

It’s that time of year again when folks begin coming up to me on the street, in the grocery store, wherever I may be to ask, “Oh, great sage and foreseer of the future, when might you bless us with your annual peek into the year ahead?” To which, I’ll give my standard reply to anyone who attempts to talk to me: “Sorry, I don’t visit.” Alas, that time has come. I’ll now give you some of the key moments in 2023 while, of course, not spoiling all of the surprises. After all, wouldn’t you rather be surprised when the […]

2020: The Year in Preview

2020: The Year in Preview

When most folks make predictions, they are merely guessing. But when I make predictions — especially about something as important and as annual as my Year in Preview — know that I am not merely guessing. Puh-leeze! I’m no amateur here. I’m guessing and throwing two tennis balls against a wall, each ball with a prediction about a topic of major importance. Then I send ol’ Blue here, a hound dog with the ability to foretell the future, to chase the balls. Whichever one he pees on is the prediction I announce. By the time I get around to predicting […]