• Tag: jimmy buffett

    Jimmy Buffett taught me to play guitar — then life gave me the middle finger

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    Jimmy Buffett taught me to play guitar — then life gave me the middle finger

    I was supposed to keep this top secret — and very few people know this, so don’t go texting it to anyone at The Atlantic or Pete Hegseth — but Jimmy Buffett taught me how to play guitar. Seriously.  In fact, it’s so top secret that not even Jimmy himself knew he was my guitar teacher. It’s just as well because, quite frankly, he didn’t do such a great job. I wonder if Jerry Reed might’ve done better. While my dad taught me the few basic chords any 9-year-old kid needs to survive on the honky tonk circuit — G, […]

    As long as we’re renaming stuff …

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    As long as we’re renaming stuff …

    I know a lot of folks are up in arms about the very important order changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, but those folks are missing out on some opportunities.  Sure, this renaming will cause a few complications. The biggest of which is that John Cougar Mellencamp’s best song, “Pink Houses,” currently has this lyric: Well, there’s people and more people/What do they know, know, know?/Go to work in some high-rise/And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico, ooh, yeah This name change totally screws that up, and I’m sure John will be […]

    Always look on the bright side of life

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    Always look on the bright side of life

    I’ve been described as cynical, skeptical, nonconformist, negative, stoic, antagonistic, nihilistic, pessimistic and all sorts of other gloomy ics. And that was just this morning while I was talking to my reflection in the bathroom mirror.  “But I’ll be danged if you ain’t one handsome feller!” I added in an effort to boost my spirits. I smiled, for a moment, then I realized I was pretty skeptical about my own compliment. It’s just my nature. Even when I’m perfectly content, I have a look about me that makes folks want to ask me, “Are you OK?” To which I respond, […]

    Marking one year since I (officially) became a “Fruitcake”

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    Marking one year since I (officially) became a “Fruitcake”

    I haven’t done a lot of radio through the years, but I’ve had a few stints in the booth providing genius analysis for high school and college sports, hyping my books, and one show dedicated exclusively to the artistry of mime that I guarantee you’ve never heard. Yet, the pinnacle of my radio life happened last year at this time when I did an episode of Radio Margaritaville’s “Fruitcakes on the Radio” in which Jimmy Buffett fans get to play and talk about a few of their favorite tunes. While I picked the song titles, they actually chose the versions […]

    Some old song titles just don’t cut it anymore

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    Some old song titles just don’t cut it anymore

    I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the Speaker of the House, Ukraine, the border, inflation, Donald Trump’s legal woes, and President Biden’s sweet little attack dogs.  And now my head hurts. So, instead of writing a blog today, I’ve decided to tell you a little about my debut album. Yes, I strum a little guitar and sing like a ferret being run over by a garbage truck, so I’m totally qualified to make it in today’s music scene. Who knows? I could make it so big that I wind up dating Travis Kelce. My album is called, […]

    Minor issues like dress codes have a tendency to Fester

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    Minor issues like dress codes have a tendency to Fester

    When I write about dress codes, a lot of folks — especially women, and specifically among this particular group of humans, my wife — tend to get all upset with my opinions on how folks should be able to dress.  With a few exceptions here and there, my general opinion is that you ought to be able to dress however you dang well please. I’ve always been the guy pushing dress codes to the limit. In school, I found board shorts that I could pull down just enough to barely meet our vice principal’s measuring stick to determine if they […]

    RIP, Jimmy Buffett. Please go hug a Parrot Head today. We need it.

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    RIP, Jimmy Buffett. Please go hug a Parrot Head today. We need it.

    For years, I’ve expected to get a notification that Jimmy Buffett had died. However, I thought it would be a seaplane crash, a sailboat sinking, a surfing accident or even a shark attack. It wasn’t supposed to be quiet and peaceful. But it was. He died quietly last night at the relatively young age of 76, surrounded by family, friends and his beloved dogs. The song “Margaritaville” came out when I was about seven years old. I liked it, but I was in my teens before the “Songs You Know By Heart” collection came out, and I realized this fella […]

    Radio Margaritaville confirms that, yes, I’m a Fruitcake

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    Radio Margaritaville confirms that, yes, I’m a Fruitcake

    I have reached the pinnacle of existence for a slim-on-talent Parrot Head. I have become an official Fruitcake — as opposed to the unofficial fruitcake most folks have always believed me to be.  If you tune in to Radio Margaritaville on Thursday, April 6, at 10 a.m. EDT, you will hear me take it over for a bit as a “Fruitcake on the Radio.” You can hear the half-hour segment on SiriusXM Channel 24, Dish Network Music Channel 6031, or by clicking here for Radio Margaritaville’s free live stream. Radio Margaritaville averages more than 3 million weekly listeners. (The segment […]