The Kudzu Kronicle

Because not all Southerners are the same

Tag: Laura Ingraham

2019: The year in preview

As we say goodbye to 2018 — also adios, farewell, and go crawl back under whatever horrible rock you came from to 2018 — we can rest assured that 2019 can’t possibly be as irritating, mainly because there are no midterm elections. And in Georgia there is no gubernatorial election, which means the next time Brian Kemp points a gun at a teenager, he could get arrested for it.

It has become an annual tradition for, literally, dozens of people across the nation to curl up with my annual Year in Preview. Anybody can report on what happened in the year 2018, but only someone like me with no sense of responsibility whatsoever can look ahead and provide a sneak peek into actual events guaranteed to happen in 2019 with the obvious caveat of unless they don’t.

So, without further ado thanks to the high tariffs on all the ado from China, let’s get right to it with a look at …

JANUARY Continue reading

Pause the boycott, kick off those New Balance sneakers and enjoy a Kirk Cameron movie

Another week, another boycott. Yawn.

That was me yawning, not Nike, of course. The folks at Nike are jumping up and down and yelling because their sales are soaring. I don’t think it has anything to do with the Colin Kaepernick ad. It likely has more to do with folks who just like to see boycotty snowflakes melt with rage and have fun making it happen.

I admit that I do like to see snowflakes melt — and I’ve found over the last few years that the folks who scream “SNOWFLAKE!” the loudest are often the most easily offended and always feel persecuted. Yes, it is so hard being a straight white male from a long line of privilege. It’s like time-honored values such as misogyny, racism and homophobia are just fading by the wayside. Awww.

I don’t like to see snowflakes melt enough to go out and buy a Nike t-shirt, though. That’s kind of a personal thing with me. I just don’t like shilling for brands and corporations. Well, except Margaritaville. I’ve done enough shilling for that brand that Jimmy ought to let me have one of his retirement homes for free. I did head to the gym last week in a Nike t-shirt that my wife bought me just to see if some loud-mouthed snowflake might have something to say. Just out of curiosity, of course.

Boycotts are nothing new. The Montgomery Bus Boycott was just a little over 60 years ago — when America was “great” — and really helped accelerate the Civil Rights Movement. But lately boycotts have evolved into petty protestations that people do not think the same way you do. “MY THOUGHTS SHALL NEVER BE CHALLENGED!”

Lately right-wingers have boycotted — or at least said they were boycotting (but not really) — Netflix, the NFL, Nordstroms, Starbucks, Target, Anheuser-Busch, Macys, Nabisco, Amazon and Pepsi. Big deal. I’ve been boycotting Pepsi for years, but for the right reason — taste. And last I checked, Amazon is doing quite well as Jeff Bezos makes more money in a day than President Trump pays out daily to keep various women quiet. That is not fake news because I got it straight from an aninominunimous source inside the White House who guarantees Bezos makes more money in a day than that. He makes more money in a day than I will in 1,247 lifetimes. Continue reading

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