The Kudzu Kronicle

Because not all Southerners are the same

Tag: Mark Levin

Why I ain’t a Democrat … or a Republican

When you’re a white guy from the South with a Southern accent, a pickup truck, a shotgun and two — count ’em, two — Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirts, folks around here assume you’re a Republican. They assume you’re a genuine, Obama-birth-certificate-doutin’, Hillary hatin’, Fox News lovin’, Trump-worshippin’ right-winger.

Well, I ain’t. I mean, I’m not. I buck that stereotype in these here parts. The thing about most stereotypes, though, is that they often are generally true. Most of the folks I know around here who fit that description are indeed right-wingers — some to the point of wearing a Q shirt and mumbling “lock her up” in their sleep.

The conservatives I know think I’m a Democrat. I ain’t. I mainly vote that way right now because I think the GOP has fallen down a hole while chasing a crazed orange rabbit. I consider myself an independent with my views ranging from left to right and averaging somewhere in the middle — which, granted, is a mighty lonely place these days. It’s hard to get folks fired up about moderation:

What do we want?!
Moderation!
When do we want it?!
At a reasonable juncture when it will effect necessary positive outcomes across a vast spectrum of interests and needs in a prudent fashion!
What do we … I’m sorry … what?

“Ha! You ain’t no moderate!” I can hear my right-wing friends saying. Not on every issue, no, but on some. And take that gun out of your mouth, Gomer.

So, where do I stray from some liberals? Well, here are a few areas: Continue reading

We can now replace the Supreme Court with a vending machine

I didn’t get caught up in President Trump’s game show hype about picking a replacement for retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy — the closest thing to a swing voter we had on the Supreme Court. We all knew it would be someone meeting the approval of The Federalist Society, Heritage Foundation and whatever combination of that is responsible for the bad guys in “The Handmaid’s Tale.” I admit I did hold out a grain of hope that Trump would keep “The Celebrity Appresident” interesting by nominating someone like Gallagher or Pee-Wee Herman, but no such luck.

Brett Kavanaugh will be easily confirmed, so the Democrats might should focus their energy on getting people to the polls instead of fighting in vain to stop him from being seated. Their apathetic voters and the people who think one party is just as evil as the other is the reason we will have a right-skewed Supreme Court for many years to come.

Conservatives want the court to have a majority of right-leaning justices, hopefully the kind so disinterested in counter arguments that they’ll be like Justice Clarence Thomas and not even ask questions or quit snoring during arguments. Liberals want the court to have a majority of left-leaning justices, the kind hated by the American Society of Christian Cake Bakers.

I, however, want the court to have nine swing voters. I want nine justices who may rule 9-0, 5-4 or 7-2. I want each case considered on its own merits in regard to the Constitution in context with a world 230 years older than the Constitution. I don’t want to see every outcome already determined before a case gets to the bench. If all the justices are going to adhere to predictable ideology, we might as well just have a vending machine for cases outside the court and save some time and money in the process:

“Please insert your case and 75 cents. Congratulations. Here is your 5-4 decision. Enjoy your oligarchy and have a nice day.” Continue reading

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