Tag: star wars

This AIn’t your grandpappy’s new technology

Chris Johnson | Posted on September 10, 2026 |

Many of us grew up seeing artificial intelligence and robots featured on fictional TV shows and movies. There was Robot on “Lost in Space” waving his arms around and yelling, “Danger, Will Robinson!” and “Why are you wearing pajamas all the time, Will Robinson?” Then came Rosie on “The Jetsons,” who was basically a tall Roomba who cleaned the house and talked like Wilma Flintstone (for good reason). And my generation fell in love with C-3PO and R2-D2 from “Star Wars” in the ’70s before falling in love with Princess Leia in the gold bikini in the ’80s. Those characters […]

Stuck in the middle with … nobody

Chris Johnson | Posted on June 26, 2025 |

If America has a problem, I think we can all agree that it’s that no driver understands what the word “yield” means. Perhaps those signs would be more effective if they read “Hey, buddy! Slow yer roll!” If America has two problems, however, I think we can all agree that it’s gotta be extreme polarization — which is fine for sunglasses and some white bears who drink Coca-Cola around Christmas. Actually, we can’t all agree on anything in America these days, except that polar bears should wear sunglasses and yield when a seal is turning right. Our nation hasn’t been […]

I finally understand Obi-Wan and his man cave

Chris Johnson | Posted on December 9, 2024 |

When I saw the first “Star Wars” movie, I had a few questions, such as: “Why are we starting on Episode IV? … Where did Stormtroopers learn to shoot? … How did everyone know English in a galaxy far, far away? … Can I have more popcorn?” Fortunately, those questions were nipped in the bud: “Shut up and watch the movie! This cost me $5!” It’s the tiny unrealistic things in movies that keep me up at night more than the major ridiculousness. For instance, you’d think that after watching “Teen Wolf,” I’d wonder how come it wasn’t much bigger […]

The brrr-fect sleeping temperature

Chris Johnson | Posted on November 1, 2023 |

You folks in my neck of the woods may have noticed that the temperature has dipped a bit at night — temporarily, I’m sure. Granted, temperatures have dipped across much of the U.S., but when it gets down into the lower 30s in the South, even for just a night or two, folks around here basically act the way you normal folks would if they were stranded on the planet Hoth. I’m just kidding, of course. I’ve been out of the South many times, and y’all ain’t normal. I mean, sure, we’re crazy from the heat down here, but y’all […]

Brief getaways are poor excuses for vacations

Chris Johnson | Posted on August 3, 2023 |

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a vacation. I mean a real vacation, not three or four days somewhere, but a real weeklong, good-luck-finding-me vacation away from everything. From my work and side projects to my wife’s work and spending time with the grandkids, a full week at St. Somewhere Off-the-Grid Can’t Nobody Find You Here All-Inclusive But Don’t Drink the Water Resort by the Sea just hasn’t proven feasible. To make up for that over the past few years, we’ve had a series of mini-vacations, often bundled around holidays like Columbus Day, Veterans Day and Thanksgiving. I […]

2021: The Year in Preview

Chris Johnson | Posted on December 23, 2020 |

I’ve been doing my Year in Preview for a long time. Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean. Higher than any bird ever flew. Wait. Sorry. I’ve got some song stuck in my head. Damn you, Dan Fogelberg! That was the problem with 2020. I got COVID, and brain fog is one of the after-effects. Worse than that, I didn’t see it coming in my 2020 Year in Preview, the first one I’ve ever gotten even 1 percent wrong. That means that I’ve got to get my 2021 predictions absolutely perfect this time. I’ve got to improve my average […]