The Kudzu Kronicle

Because not all Southerners are the same

Tag: trump

Why I ain’t a Democrat … or a Republican

When you’re a white guy from the South with a Southern accent, a pickup truck, a shotgun and two — count ’em, two — Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirts, folks around here assume you’re a Republican. They assume you’re a genuine, Obama-birth-certificate-doutin’, Hillary hatin’, Fox News lovin’, Trump-worshippin’ right-winger.

Well, I ain’t. I mean, I’m not. I buck that stereotype in these here parts. The thing about most stereotypes, though, is that they often are generally true. Most of the folks I know around here who fit that description are indeed right-wingers — some to the point of wearing a Q shirt and mumbling “lock her up” in their sleep.

The conservatives I know think I’m a Democrat. I ain’t. I mainly vote that way right now because I think the GOP has fallen down a hole while chasing a crazed orange rabbit. I consider myself an independent with my views ranging from left to right and averaging somewhere in the middle — which, granted, is a mighty lonely place these days. It’s hard to get folks fired up about moderation:

What do we want?!
Moderation!
When do we want it?!
At a reasonable juncture when it will effect necessary positive outcomes across a vast spectrum of interests and needs in a prudent fashion!
What do we … I’m sorry … what?

“Ha! You ain’t no moderate!” I can hear my right-wing friends saying. Not on every issue, no, but on some. And take that gun out of your mouth, Gomer.

So, where do I stray from some liberals? Well, here are a few areas: Continue reading

They’re real journalists — and they put out a damn paper

Let me be clear: I am not a journalist. I have a column that appears in a newspaper once a week. As I’ve told people, it’s like a movie “based on a true story” — and it’s somewhere between 1 and 99 percent true every time.

However, I did spend more than 20 years as a real journalist. I didn’t expose Iran-Contra. I didn’t bring down Nixon, and I didn’t uncover Clinton’s mess with Monica Lewinsky — although I had to read way too many stories about it and had to read the whole Starr Report when we printed it at the Ledger-Enquirer.

But, still, I was still a real journalist. I laid out thousands of pages and edited many thousands of stories at the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer and Americus Times-Recorder about murders, rezonings, business developments, new laws, council meetings, new plays, you name it. I laid out upcoming events, sports schedules, TV lineups, food inspections, church calendars and listings for civic and self-help groups. I tweaked the kerning on three lines of the NFL standings so it didn’t throw off your entire Standings & Scoreboard agate on page 2. I covered high school and college athletic contests, snapped thousands of photos and interviewed famous coaches like Vince Dooley and Dan Reeves, along with celebrities like Charlie Daniels and the legendary Bo Duke — er, I mean John Schneider. Continue reading

Trump should go all-in on this whole TV administration thing

Lately, President Trump has taken a lot of heat for turning to television for people to fill posts throughout his administration. Of course, that’s simply going to make him even more intent upon doing exactly that.

I say the president should double-down on this whole television administration thing. I know he’d like to basically employ all of Fox News, but I think that is far too limiting, and they make a lot more money scaring old white folks in primetime than they could all day in government. He should reach beyond punditry channels, news networks and reality TV. He should give some strong consideration to fictional TV characters.

For instance, I think Archie Bunker would make a great press secretary. Trump obviously does not care about political correctness, and Archie Bunker does not seem to be too fond of it, either. I would love to hear Archie take questions from all those Meatheads in the briefing room. “Geez Louise, Sciutto! Ain’t you got a question that’s got nuttin’ to do with what Trump done Tweetbooked on the pot this morning?” Continue reading

Let’s try trickle-up economics

I’m going to take President Trump and Republicans at their word that what they really want to do is boost the middle and lower classes with their tax reform plan. Not only that, but I’m going to help them get everything they want. All they have to do is tackle tax reform in two phases.

Because corporations are making record profits and already paying an effective tax rate on average of 21 percent (though some pay less or zero), they likely can wait a moment for tax relief and more breaks. Meanwhile, the wealthy in America are doing better than ever, so they might can wait a moment, as well. Besides, we don’t have to look back very far in our history to find that trickle-down economics does not work. So, let’s try trickle-up economics.

Start tax reform with small businesses instead of corporations and with the bottom 90 percent or so of Americans instead of the top 1 percent. President Reagan famously noted that a rising tide lifts all boats as he pitched trickle-down economics in the ’80s. Unfortunately, it lifted all boats in a small pond. Trickle-up economics relies on an oceanic rising tide to lift a whole lot more boats, from the poor boy’s canoe (or kayak in my case) to the greedy man’s yacht. Continue reading

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