The surest sign yet that America is messed up

People who think America has crossed the Rubicon into permanent dysfunction and division point to such things as a broken two-party system, money in politics, out-of-control debt, gender identity and cartoon mice as prime examples to support their opinion.

Granted, the folks who are most worried about gender identity and which bathroom trans people use also are the people who just read my first sentence and are telling somebody, “Yeah, I got me one of dem Rubicon cubes back in the ’80s. Only way I could solve it was with a screwdriver!”

“I heered that!”

Unfortunately, I, too, now believe that America has crossed the Rubik’s Cube, never to return. That’s because our precious rednecks — and wannabe rednecks like Kid Rock — are in a war against cheap beer, namely Bud Light. They are pouring it out. Kid Rock and right-wing lawmakers are shooting it or blowing it up. Marjorie Taylor-Greene is yelling at it.

I just got back from the local Publix, and there were approximately 547 packs of Bud Light for sale. I can’t remember the price, but it was pretty low. My eyes are dilated right now, but I’m pretty sure the sign read: “Free to a good home.”

It’s all because Anheuser-Busch sent 365 specialized cans of Bud Light to an “influencer” neither I nor the angry rednecks had ever heard of — Dylan Mulvaney, a transgender woman. The cans had her face on it to celebrate her “365 Days of Girlhood.” It wasn’t a campaign. It was just a gesture between the beer company and the influencer. 

(If you don’t understand the term “transgender,” research it. If you don’t understand the term “influencer,” well don’t ask me because I don’t get it.)

Of course, the folks who are most upset are convinced by folks like Fox News that you can’t walk down your own street these days without tripping over the massive crowds of trans people who are ruining your life. They are pretty good are stoking the fears about non-issues for 99.9% of people.

I haven’t had a Bud Light in years. Seriously. That might shock some of my friends who’ve seen me chug a few and assume I still buy it because they think I’m “cheap,” which I find offensive because I identify as “frugal.”

The damage done to Bud Light’s business has been brutal. They may never recover from what they thought was a nice overture. It’s a pretty good lesson about knowing your audience and not wading into every issue. They should have stuck with some kind of campaign like, “Bud Light — almost beer, definitely cheap.”

Of course, the folks who decry “cancel culture” the loudest are also just as guilty of it. Just ask the Dixie Chicks, M&Ms, Disney, the NFL, Barney, Tinky Winky, Harry Potter and many more. The left excels, as well. Just ask folks like Aunt Jemima, Dave Chappelle, Goya, MyPillow, Ted Nugent, Bill Maher, Harry Potter and more.

Yes, it’s pretty bad on both sides. It’s not OK to try to stop Ted Nugent from shredding his guitar for the folks who want to hear it, nor is it OK to shout down someone expressing concern on a discussion on a college campus about the impact of trans athletes in women’s sports. Folks need to listen more and whine less … on both sides.

Meanwhile, I’m considering going back to the store and grabbing some Bud Light. I don’t really want to drink it, but it’d be worth it just to rile up some loud-mouthed redneck. Believe me: I’ve got a little ornery in my old age and get more and more of a kick out of angering bad people. 

Or I could just order some Bud Light bumper stickers and put them on the back of the vehicles that keep coming past my house with the boom boom (aka I desperately need attention and/or my mommy didn’t love me enough) radios.

And then I can sit in a lounge chair in my driveway and enjoy the show … while drinking a cold Bud Light.