Rarely do I share news involving the term “rectal reconstruction.” It’s not so much that I find the concept itself so disturbing but more that it reminds me of my old punk rock band, Rectal Reconstruction. We opened a few shows for the Butthole Surfers back in the 1990s.
Every now and then, we hear a story of a matador getting gored during a bullfight. Fans of this activity crowd arenas and yell things like “¡ole!” and “¡corn dog, por favor!” while animal lovers root for the bull. On Monday, the bull won. He didn’t merely gore a bullfighter in Mexico. He gored him in the anus. Unbeknownst to the matador, he was fighting Mexico’s undisputed Pin the Tail on the Donkey champion.
That’s right, the matador got John Holmes’d when 11.8 inches of bull horn violently checked him for polyps. Nothing alarming was found, but I doubt the matador will be tooting his horn about that anytime soon.
And, yes, I know the image at the top is the Chicago Bulls’ logo. This just might be the best bull highlight of the year … although the rest of their opponents this NBA season are likely to dive out of the way the next time a bull drives to the basket.