We can now replace the Supreme Court with a vending machine

I didn’t get caught up in President Trump’s game show hype about picking a replacement for retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy — the closest thing to a swing voter we had on the Supreme Court. We all knew it would be someone meeting the approval of The Federalist Society, Heritage Foundation and whatever combination of that is responsible for the bad guys in “The Handmaid’s Tale.” I admit I did hold out a grain of hope that Trump would keep “The Celebrity Appresident” interesting by nominating someone like Gallagher or Pee-Wee Herman, but no such luck.

Brett Kavanaugh will be easily confirmed, so the Democrats might should focus their energy on getting people to the polls instead of fighting in vain to stop him from being seated. Their apathetic voters and the people who think one party is just as evil as the other is the reason we will have a right-skewed Supreme Court for many years to come.

Conservatives want the court to have a majority of right-leaning justices, hopefully the kind so disinterested in counter arguments that they’ll be like Justice Clarence Thomas and not even ask questions or quit snoring during arguments. Liberals want the court to have a majority of left-leaning justices, the kind hated by the American Society of Christian Cake Bakers.

I, however, want the court to have nine swing voters. I want nine justices who may rule 9-0, 5-4 or 7-2. I want each case considered on its own merits in regard to the Constitution in context with a world 230 years older than the Constitution. I don’t want to see every outcome already determined before a case gets to the bench. If all the justices are going to adhere to predictable ideology, we might as well just have a vending machine for cases outside the court and save some time and money in the process:

“Please insert your case and 75 cents. Congratulations. Here is your 5-4 decision. Enjoy your oligarchy and have a nice day.”

I know folks like hyperventilating Mark Levin and boot-licking Sean Hannity demand an originalist. But the Constitution is a guiding document that the Founding Fathers knew was not infallible. It could not have foreseen the internet, the space race, AR-15s and the television. Originalists remind me too much of Dr. Zaius touting the Sacred Scrolls from the Lawgiver in “Planet of the Apes.” At least Dr. Zaius could admit the fallacies once you tied him up and grabbed a gun.

These are now the glory days for the American oligarchy and corporatocracy. Citizens United catapulted us all into this dystopian mess. This is why voting matters. Democracy requires participation. The current American leadership would prefer to diminish participation through gerrymandering and propaganda while trying to thwart participation by purging voter rolls and decreasing voting opportunities, especially in poorer communities. So, please, vote and vote in America’s best interests.

Until then, just picture a ballroom full of dancing, celebrating executives from Big Pharma, Big Oil and Big Insurance alongside religious extremists, homophobes, racists, xenophobes and their ilk. They are a happy bunch right now. They own the Supreme Court, Presidency and Congress along with most state houses.

When Kavanaugh takes his seat, the Supreme Court will render decisions with about as much thought as a Magic 8-Ball. Although, when you shake the Magic 8-Ball it comes up with a wide variety of responses like “It is decidedly so,” “My sources say no” or “Ask again later.” But no matter how you shake this Supreme Court, its only response will be “Signs point to 5-4.”



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